I radiate no warmth

I thought I was living a miracle as Mom and I spent over 24 hours together without any reference to my weight. There were some standard mom quirks--there always are--but overall, I thought I was getting away with a relatively insult-free weekend. Then, she had to go and start this conversation.

Mom: So, what led to your breakup?

Oh, god. We've talked about this. I gave her my standard "I don't want to talk about it" line.

A.: We were too different.
Mom: Different how?
A.: A lot of ways, mostly in energy levels and the things we wanted to do with our time.
Mom: Well, this was probably a good learning experience for you, but here's what I'll tell you: from now on, date Jews.
A.: Okay, mom.

Because there are no Jewish douchebags out there? Really?

Mom: I'm serious. From now on, date Jews.
A.: [Shrug.]

Mom then starts rambling about two people she used to work with who hooked up and nobody would have guessed it. The woman was mousish and smelled of soap, but apparently this guy was crazy about her.

A.: What is your point?
Mom: People don't have to necessarily be smart or anything to be attractive. Your issue is, you don't radiate warmth, at all.
A., neutrally: Thanks, mom.