Being nicer to my mother

I would like to be nicer to my mother. I really, truly would. But I ask you, based on the exchange below, how I can make that happen. My phone rings at 10:40ish last night, mom's on the caller ID. I'd just started to fall asleep. I answered. No one answered on the other line. Two minutes later, the phone rang again. A.: Hello?? Mom: What, are you asleep? A.: I was in the process of going to sleep, yes. Mom: Well, how am I supposed to know that? A.: Because when I called you an hour ago, I left you a message saying, "I'm probably going to sleep soon, but I'll talk to you tomorrow." Mom: Well, I was out and I didn't get the message! I did not say, even though I felt like it, "WELL, YOU COULD HAVE F*ING USED YOUR HEAD." I mean, don't you think twice about calling someone after 10pm, or 10:30pm especially? Even if that person called an hour beforehand, which was, after all, before 10pm? Note that the call alone wasn't what got to me, even though it was annoying and thoughtless. It was the follow-up questioning. Okay, fine, I'm awake now. Do you have to ask me incredulously if I was asleep? Sigh.