A relatively mild Thursday afternoon

Mom: Hello?
A.: Hello?
Mom: Are you on the plane?
A.: Yeah, about to get off.
Mom: So you'll call in an hour and a half?
A.: No. I'm in Boston. We just landed. I'm here now.
Mom: What? You're here? I need to get dressed.
A.: Mom.
Mom: What? Your dad had all the details. He's probably on his way home from work. I'll call you when we leave.

***
Mom: Are you hungry?
A.: We might have time for a quick snack. I'm meeting people in half an hour.
Mom: We can make mushrooms.
A.: Can we make them not in butter?
Mom: What? Mushrooms not in butter?!
A.: Maybe in olive oil.
Mom: Why on earth?
A.: I don't eat dairy, mom.
Mom: But dairy's from cows that are alive...
A.: Nonetheless--
Mom: Those cows could be happy.
A.: But they're not.
Mom Suit yourself.
A.: Thanks.

(I opened the fridge.)

A.: Since when do you eat peanut butter?
Mom: I don't.
A.: Why is there a massive jar of peanut butter in the fridge?
Mom: I dunno. Maybe your dad bought it.
Dad: I did not. Mom probably bought it because it was on a massive sale.
Mom: No I didn't. I don't know how long it's been here.
A.: It's taking up quite a bit of fridge space.
Mom: Who knows how long it's been there. Will you eat it?
A.: No.
Mom: What's wrong with peanut butter.
A.: Nothing's wrong with peanut butter. But there's sugar and hydrogenated soybean, as the second and third ingredients respectively, wrong with this peanut butter product.
Mom: Well, I don't know how it got there.