Earth to...

A friend of mine lives in an apartment building about twenty minutes' walk from my house; he occasionally travels, and on those occasions asks me to feed his cat. Having done this a few times, I know the drill-- I request the building key from the concierge or ask him or her to buzz me in when I get to the right place (the concierge is in a separate building from the cat), check in on the cat, return the key, and move on with my life. The "drill" is usually uneventful.

Last week, the drill was rendered interesting (eventful would be a stretch) by a concierge that made me wonder whether he was stoned and revived my interest in playwriting.

"Hello."
"Hello. I'm here to feed a cat in ____. Could I have the keys, please?"
"What's your name?"
"A......."
[Concierge looks through the the books, finds the page that lists me as an authorized guest.]
"Alison?"

I spell my name. This is what some call learned helplessness-- especially in situations like these where it really doesn't matter, I don't bother insisting that my name be pronounced correctly. At the same time, it fascinates me that someone who has it in writing write in front of him, for some reason finds it easier to offer an approximation than to just read from the page. I won't go on about how I am not the president of any Central Asian state; my name is not difficult to pronounce, nor too long to sound out; I simply wish to report the concierge's unnecessary struggle with it.

"Do you know the key number?"

Okay, now why on EARTH would I know the [four- or five-digit] key number? Honestly.

"No. If it's easier you could just buzz me in."

"We don't allow dogs in the lobby."

I look around, genuinely thinking I may have unwittingly brought a dog with me. Then I wonder if he's referring to me. He sees the puzzled look on my face and says,

"If you have a key you can go in through the back."

I intensify my puzzled look.

"To bring the dog back in."

"I'm feeding a cat."

"Oh, okay."

***

I don't think I expect too much of people. I mean, sure, it was later in the evening, he's probably had a long day... but I didn't expect him to, say, remember my name or business in the building from having heard it earlier in the day. It just didn't occur to me that he would rather guess my name than read it, and make up a scenario for my requesting entry to the building. If I had time I'd write a play about this, make up a whole day of interactions.