lotus flower

She always does this-- she insists on helping me with something and then either makes it more difficult or uses the situation against me. She's talked me out of getting more student loans because it would make better economic sense for her to borrow against her house and have me pay her, and then she held those loans over my head and tried to micromanage the classes I chose. She talked me out of getting a moving van for my move to D.C.-- we would put everything in her minivan and we would take my car too-- and then threatened on the day before the move to opt out.

I didn't ask her to drive me to Northampton, if you'll recall. Nor did I withhold information from her, as she is now accusing me of doing. Oh, one more thing, I had originally wanted to stay overnight but she kept going on about how busy she is and how she has so much to do, let's make it a daytrip, so I arranged to make it a daytrip. I thought the terms were clear-- she drops me off in Noho, goes on to the Berkshires, and picks me up on the way back. Now, she wants to wait for me because she doesn't want to stop in there twice. It is effectively on the way. But she says we never discussed that possibility and she wanted to keep open the option of staying overnight.

In the middle of this she picks up the US Airways magazine I'd grabbed yesterday, which is actually pretty good, and asks me what it's doing there. I said I was reading it. She gives me a dirty look. I say, "look, within hours of arriving at my house a few weeks ago, you had turned it into an obstacle course that I was cleaning up until 2am, so don't give me that look." She looked offended, asked exactly what she had left lying around, and I said, it doesn't matter, it was fine, but I didn't pick up every object and ask you what it was doing there. She'd left entire pieces of baggage in the kitchen.

Anyway, back to our day or not day trip.

"What time is your appointment?"
"There IS no appointment. I told you I am going to see friends. Who have plans until noon, but I am fine hanging out until then."
"Well what will we do while you hang out?"
"I thought you'd pick me up on your way back!"
"I don't want to feel rushed."
"Don't feel rushed then. I'm not asking you to feel rushed."

Basically, she's criticizing me for my attempting to not have her plan around me. Now that she "understands the whole situation," she has opted to get there later so that she has less waiting time in Northampton and more freedom to opt for an overnight trip.

***

There was some back and forth; My hosts re-extended the offer to stay overnight; my mother rejected it, now that it wasn't something to hold against me. We made it to our respective destinations in Western MA and reunited with a lot less tension.