Age before beauty, goat cheese!

Said Hansel to Derek Zoolander, during the walk-off. I thought of that line when my mom offered to get more goat cheese so I could take some home with me. I said no, thank you. She started telling me about the nutritional benefits of goat cheese. Actually, she told me it was a good source of calcium, which you'd have to be a moron not to know, but that's not the point. Nor is the point that I like goat cheese, and I have long before I associated it with "Zoolander." The point is that I don't need a nutritional lecture in response to every decision I make about food.

By the way, my mom doesn't like "Zoolander." Watching it with her is kind of amusing, though, and I think I've described some of her questions in previous blogs. My favorite is, "why doesn't the miner guy like the fact that his son is a male model?"

***

My mother has taken to pinching my back fat. I asked her not to, but she seems to believe that giving me birth gives her the right to treat my like her personal Pillsbury doughboy.

We were leaving the house to go for a walk when she said, "wow, you really have gotten fatter."

"Yes, we have established that I have gotten fatter. I see no benefit in bringing it up regularly."

Later, she asked whether I wanted to go clothes shopping. I said no, no clothes shopping for me until I return to normal weight. She said not to focus on my weight (although she will continue to bring it up, regularly).

Then she told me I should drink coffee because among other things it suppresses appetite.

***

On Saturday I went for a walk with Jason. We agreed that he would pick me up at 2pm. At 1:58pm my mother called me over to watch some clip online. I told her I had to go. She said it was quick. It was three minutes. Had she even called me over at 1:55pm, it would have been more understandable.

***

Just now:
"What are those two forks in the dishwasher?"
"I don't know... forks that we've used today?"
"Well, why are they in the dishwasher?"
"??"
"You should have taken them out and washed them."

Shrug.