Phone (video) call

"Mom: I've seen the cat. Do I get to see you?

A.: Why would you want to do that?

Mom: I gave birth to you, after all, and it's not like I could unbirth you.

I switch the camera.

Mom: You look worse. You used to look better.

I switch the camera again.

Mom: That pathetic, inadequate tail. No wonder you don't want her out there with other cats.

Dad: It's also that she's declawed.

Mom: Still, she must feel bad about her sad little tail.

***

There was also some "blah blah blah everyone else is having children, you should have children, blah blah blah."