"Is that your butt??"

Mom left me a message saying she wanted to video chat on Skype so she could show me what she and dad had done with the backyard. So I video-called on Skype... but she regular-answered. So we chatted for a few minutes. I told her I had poison ivy, said it's too bad we weren't video-Skyping because I could show her the scars. I suggested that she video-call, so that I could answer properly and we'd see each other. So she did.

A.: Hello?
Mom: Hello. Can you see us?
A.: I can see you. Can you see me?
Mom: Is that your butt??

Now, I've never claimed to have diminutive calves. Let's be real--you can't pedal your way to work and back on diminutive calves. And I was striking an unnaturally bow-legged pose to get more of the scarring on camera. But still--is that your butt? Really?
A.: Yeah, mom--that's my butt. I'm mooning you as we speak.
Mom: Really?
A.: No! Those are my legs.
Mom: That looks awful!
A.: I know.
Dad: The carpet looks good.
A.: [shrug]
Dad: What are you using on the poison ivy?
A.: Over-the-counter crap. I need to go to the doctor.
Mom: Yeah you do. Get some steroids; otherwise you'll be itching for weeks.
A.: Will do.