a kiddy mommy and a kitty mommy compare notes

This conversation took place over the course of a couple of days:

me: so are we more or less clear on who's getting what?
Gina: Yeah, I was just emailng you. :)
Gina: So, I'll use your artichokes, canola oil, and mozz. cheese, and you said you can pick up parsley -- will you use the leftovers?
me: of parsley? sure
me: I'm going nuts. but we've discussed that
Gina: Me, too.
me: you're going nuts?
Gina: Yeah, from motherhood.
me: what's he doing, besides being a toddler?
Gina: He's actually napping right now, he was just all out of sorts today. I attempted to bring him to a party (it was a family party, with lots of little kids).
He unfortunately saw at the party a gift bag with a bulldozer (or was it a dump truck?) on it.
Gina: So then all he kept saying for the rest of the party (we only stayed for two hours) was "I WANT THAT PRESENT!" And it was only because of the bag. I couldn't get him to stop. I felt like a failure.
I was literally in tears on the car ride home.
Anyway, people were trying to reassure me that all of their kids have these days.
But it doesn't really help when you're in the middle of it.
And when NONE of the other kids, ages 1-4, were acting like this. Despite not having naps.
me: in the preface of 7 habits (of course I didn't have time to read this weekend) he talks about being mortified because his daughter wouldn't share a toy at a party
so it's apparently a pretty common occurrence
Gina: Yeah, so I keep being told.
But somehow it always seems like my kid is the only one at whatever time he's doing it.
me: did he let up when you left?
Gina: No. He kept saying in the car that he wanted me to get him a present.
me: what did you say?
Gina: I said if he sat on the potty I'd get him a gift bag.
So he sat and peed, and I found a gift bag, but of course it didn't have a bulldozer on it so that wasn't acceptable.
Gina: That's another thing that's driving me crazy.
I told him today if he went on the potty, I'd get him a car transporter. Well, that was a mistake.
Because then he just threw a tantrum about wanting the car transporter, and not understanding the clause, "When you go on the potty," being something in the future.
me: it makes you feel any better, and I know it's not the same, gracie's driving me up the f*ing wall
Gina: LOL
Well, that at least made me laugh!
me: (it also relates to potty training, mostly)
Gina: I thought all cats just know to go in the litter box?
me: oh yeah she knows how but when I travel, she rebels by pooping on the porch
Gina: Oh. Wow, that's so... behavioral. For a cat.
I mean, I didn't think cats rebelled.
me: that and she's just very needy. I thought I would get a cat, feed it, take it to the vet occasionally
Gina: Sounds like we are both having trouble with rebellious children.
me: but she always wants to sit on my lap
Gina: Also sounds like Tristan.
Very much like Tristan!
me: she really wants to sleep on my bed but I've read that it's perfectly acceptable to not let them when interferes with your sleep, which it does
Gina: I thought I would have a baby, feed it, take it to the pediatrician occasionally.
me: so I have to block my door so she doesn't open it
LOL
plus she's still so fat
her belly's not going anywhere
Gina: Fortunately, the one thing we haven't had too much of a problem with is Tristan wanting to sleep in our bed. That's a big one with many parents/children.
me: she's lazy, plays for about five minutes then gets bored
and then whines too much
Gina: That is just bizarre (the fat)>
me: she's a whiner when she wants something
Gina: Wow. That REALLY sounds like Tristan!
Gina: Tristan's always been a whiner, practically from the moment he came out.
I wonder if we just give in to them too much?
Or if we just have high-needs children.
(Listen to me, I'm talking about a cat like it's a child...)
me: I've tried not giving in (and spraying with water, which you can't do with kids) in my case it's that I got her at five, and old habits are hard to retrain, and I find myself trying to reason with her and getting frustrated when she doesn't get it
Gina: LOL
Again... sounds familiar.
Maybe your cat has Asperger's.
me: LOL. maybe
Gina: I try not giving in, also.
me: but it's like... you know how it is-- I have so much that I'm trying to do
Gina: I've been really trying to put my foot down lately, but it seems like there's always a battle over something unexpected.
Gina: It's just easier to give her what she wants.
me: I just mean, it's hard to focus with someone whining or crawling all over you
Gina: This is why I can hardly get out a Pampered Chef invitation when Tristan's awake...
Gina: Well, the testing wears on you after awhile.
Gina: So I'm just f*cking him up royally.
me: well, the thing with kids is that you have time and some behaviors self correct
like the truck bag thing--
Gina: I hope something self-corrects, because I'm out of gas.
me: he can't carry that into adulthood
other kids won't allow it
Gina: No. But he will probably go on about it for days.
me: right now, it's just a pain for you
Gina: I hope so. I'm hoping the peer pressure thing kicks in soon. He already has kids in his preschool saying things to him.
Gina: He's just so immature socially right now, and with communicating.
It really is tough. No wonder kids used to get whipped.
me: yeah
Gina: Anyway, I should go wake him up. As much as I'd rather not.
me: ok. I should try to pack as much as I’d rather not
Gina: Oh. Well, enjoy your time away from Gracie.
me: thanks.
Gina And thanks again for agreeing to host a P.C. party, with all of your other engagements.
me: I didn't mean to make it sound that way :)
Gina: I really hope you're not stressing yourself out over it. It's really supposed to be something you dont' have to do a lot of work for.
me: I'm actually looking forward to getting people together
I always have to do a lot of work
it's me, not you
Gina: Oh, that's good.
Are you breaking up with me?
J/K
me: LOL
anyway, I'll let you go deal with your whiny one
Gina: Okay. You, too.
Bye!
me: bye!

10:04 AM Me: okay for example.. I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off, not going to have time to get things done before I leave. I have to go pick up pecans in mclean for the smith fundraiser, I'm leaving the house for the trip at 2pm, I'm doing laundry. and gracie was whining from first thing this morning, and then kept whining even after I fed her. but now, my sheets are in the wash and I don’t want her on the bed when it's just the mattress pad (I don't want her on the bed period but like you I pick my battles) so five times now she's jumped on and I've told her to get off, pushed her off, carried her off, etc. I'll push her off from this end, and then she'll go around the other end. she knows I don't want her on the bed. she's driving me nuts. I don't have time for this.
On 11/5/07, Gina wrote:
So, are you saying you'll have pecans for the pecan brie? :)

Sounds like my morning with Tristan. Trying to prepare Pampered Chef documents, etc., while he's whining that he wants to go ride his bicycle because Elmo was riding one on Sesame St. I ended up screaming at him, which is so not thoughtful parenting. Okay, he's screaming again...
G.

A.:
Yeah, that's the other thing-- it's all about them. No consideration for everything you have to get done, for your cold, for your need for sleep.

> On 11/5/07, Gina wrote:
I'm getting all of these fruit flies in my house, in the kitchen and even bathrooms. It's really grossing me out. I've read the only way to get rid of them is to find the source, decaying matter somewhere, but I can't find the source. Meanwhile I'm trying to sweep up every crumb and wipe up every spill in the kitchen. It's futile.

Tristan's screaming because he can't find a puzzle piece. Thank god we leave for preschool in a few minutes!
G.

A: yeah see that's we're your challenge is-- you have to actually help your charge develop into a functional member of society; I just have to keep mine healthy and happy to the extent reasonable, and not go nuts in the process.

Gina: I don't know, lately I've been thinking I should just give up on the
functional member of society part, and just do the "keep healthy and
happy to the extent reasonable and not go nuts in the process" part.