Sunday, December 16, 2012

It's all still copy

Whether or not to give to good organizations that violate my food-related ethics isn't my only, or most pressing, ethical dilemma. I'm struggling with the fact that mom isn't aging well, and that even her increased nastiness may be a function of her physical ailments. Dad seems to think it is.

But that doesn't mean I'm going to be less prolific in transcribing that nastiness. I still have to deal with it. I still have to deflect it. I love my mother and I'm going to continue to interact with her to the extent that my sanity permits (and this holiday season, that means I won't be visiting). She picks fights with dad almost every day; this means she'd pick a fight with me almost every hour. Which doesn't help anyone, much less dad. Besides, she's still not talking to me after the fight over the phone--for those of you not following me on Twitter, she got very angry and said that talking to me made her want to vomit when I asked if she could perhaps tell me later about accessing the streamed opera she'd seen online, since I wasn't in a position to take it in or write it down. It was late in Sweden, and work issued me a phone (don't get me started about how unusable the Blackberry is as anything but a phone, that's a rant for another time) that I was perfectly within my rights to use for personal calls, but I didn't want to abuse that, and mom was going on and on and repeating herself. Anyway, maybe I should have just let her keep talking--as every altercation with mom goes, I'm not entirely in the right, but it's her response that's entirely disproportionate. I may visit at some point, for a weekend, once she's calmed down, but my limit is two consecutive days.

Also exacerbated: Mom's penchant for constant, unrelenting criticism and opinionating. I told you before that she'd mouthed off about a family friend's singing ability (friend in question is training to be an opera singer). And, more recently, my parents ran into my cousin and mom couldn't resist telling her that her hair looked bad.

As we've discussed, constant negativity and criticism gets to you, and I'm at a point in my life where I choose to limit its access to me. I will take care of my mom and help my dad, but I will also impose limits. And I will keep writing about her as long as she provides fodder, whether or not she has a medical excuse for it.

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