My proverbial Tivo Thinks I'm Gay

I came home today to a mostly Russian-language newspaper-- target audience Russian Jews-- in my mail basket. How on earth they identified me is a mystery-- it's not like I advertise my ethnicity (yes, smart@$$, as the writer of this blog, I technically do, but this blog does not reveal my name). So I'm intrigued (as well as annoyed at the waste of paper and space in my paper-recycling bin), but only partly so. After all, I am actually Russian-Jewish, so it's odd but not inaccurate that I've been identified as the target audience of this newspaper.

Which is more than I can say for another publication that found its way to my mail basket: US Weekly. Now, I've picked up copies of US Weekly donated to the gym from time to time-- in fact, it's perfect elliptical reading--but blech-- I certainly wouldn't buy a copy myself, much less subscribe. I'm ashamed that my name and address appear on an issue (four, actually, because that's apparently how many free sample issues they've sent)! Since they were already here (I was away, I couldn't cancel), I decided to flip through one. I felt dirty. I felt like I was getting dumber with each page (not sure why I don't get dumber when I read them on the elliptical... maybe because I'm spending already-committed time).

How did this happen? I subscribe to Elle, which, once you get past the $6,000 handbags, has excellent articles. Yes, it's the woman's Playboy in that way. Sure there's celebrity pandering, but it's incidental and pretends at least the appearance of sophistication. Maybe it's because of Lucky, to which I subscribed to get rid of expiring points, and in which I have yet to find anything useful in a single issue. That's it, and now my proverbial Tivo thinks I'm proverbially gay.