I am just rolling in free time

I interrupt the post I was working on to report a conversation with my mother.

Background: In Xi'an, Kathy's city, Kathy's nephew came and played piano for us in the bar of the hotel where we stayed. Mom, quite nobly, decided to connect this nephew with a good friend of hers that teaches piano in the States.

Mom: Will you talk to Kathy and let her know that we'll ask around and get back to her?
A.: Why don't you tell her?
Mom: And also, ask her what the best way to get in touch with her would be.
A.: I can confidently say that e-mail would be the best way.
Mom: What if she doesn't have e-mail access while she's tourguiding?
A.: Then she'll get it when she returns. You're not going to call China, given the twelve-hour time difference and difficulties of understanding one another over the phone?
Mom: Well, you talk to her...

So mom just called, having asked around. She's getting into a lot of detail about what an e-mail to Kathy would contain.

A.: Wait a minute, you want me to write this e-mail?
Mom: Yes. It would be so much faster for you to do...
A.: No, it wouldn't. You're giving me all these details over the phone-- can't you just type them up.
Mom: That would take longer and I don't have time right now. These things are so easy for you.
A.: It's easy for me to write things when I know what I want to say. It would be easier for me if you sent me an e-mail to edit.
Mom: I don't have time right now.
A.: And I do??
Mom: Sure. I've hardly unpacked.
A.: Mom, I don't have time right now.
Mom: But the contents of the letter are so simple.
A.: Then YOU write it!
Mom: Goodbye!

***
I admire my mom's efforts, but I'm not writing this letter for her. Now, you may think that if I have time to blog, I have time to write the letter, but you may think wrong. I blog quickly; having to make sense of mom's complex details is more time-intensive. Blogging is an escape; writing mom's letter is work... and if I'm going to do work, I may as well iron... and I don't feel like ironing.

***
I ended up drafting a quick note based on what I think mom wants to say. Yes, my mother should stop helping herself to other people's time and making assumptions about it; yes, I want to get her out of the habit. However, this is not one of my busiest weeks. If there are four unironed shirts hanging around my room, it's because I'm lazy/tired, not busy, and usually, when I say no to her about letters, I am really f*ing busy. More importantly, I gave it some thought, and while I do have stuff to do, it's stuff that I may have turned into a chore in my mind, but it's really leisure (getting through my magazines and Netflix, which restarted without my knowing it while I was away), and helping Kathy's nephew get to a good music school would actually be a better use of my time (writing to the Chinese government about their luggage-locking policy, on the other hand, would not). We do get so caught up in our self-imposed deadlines, but we have to prioritize what's important to us. I don't pretend that the things that take up my time off the clock--exercising, reading the news, reading in general, spending time with my friends, etc.--are comparable to working two jobs, raising kids, getting a degree, etc., but I've prioritized them and I'll decided when something else takes priority. Not everything I do is selfish; I'll spend over six hours over the course of the weekend volunteering. And while reading is something I enjoy, it's a responsibility to not get behind in New Yorkers. It comes down to the same thing I've written in response to mom's demands for Verizon letters: I would be so much more responsive if she would just ask.