Thursday morning

Mom, as I dyed her hair: How many husbands have I had?

A.: Two.

Mom: Just two? Well, there were other men in between. Did I ever tell you why I left the fir: st?

A.: Because he was lazy.

Mom: He was exceptionally lazy. But he was caring. He took good care of me when I wasn't feeling well. 

Mom: I think your hair is too dark.

A.: [Shrug.]

Mom: Why is your hair so dark?

A.: Because it is.

Mom: But you dye it.

A.: Just to cover the gray; it doesn't make it darker.

Later, I went out to the backyard to hose the henna out of my hair. Mom came out in her towel to talk to me, Dad tried to coax her back in the house to get dressed. I told her I couldn't hear her with the water beating down on my head, but she kept talking. Only when I finished, she followed me back in.

Mom: I think you should meet the neighbors.

A.: I've met the neighbors.

Mom: When?

A.: When I lived here.

Mom: That was then. They have adorable babies now. You'll take one look at them and want one of your own.

A.: I guarantee that I won't. I see plenty of adorable babies.

Mom: Sure you will. God said go forth and multiply. You owe it to your parents and to the Jewish people. [Pause.] You should visit more often.