I really got mom going this morning, much like I did in Shanghai when I hand-washed some clothes. Mom threw a disproportionate fit and continued to mutter, "idiocy! idiocy!" for hours. Well, this morning, I cleaned her stovetop--she has one of those high-tech flat electric ones--with a dish towel. Now, it is her house, so how things are used and how things are cleaned are her call. But that doesn't mean things used and cleaned differently should drive so much passion and prolonged discussion.
Mom: Why is this dish towel wet?
A.: I used it to wipe down the stovetop.
Mom: This? This is a towel!
A.: And?
Mom: We have paper towels for that!
A.: They would have gotten stuck.
Mom: This won't come off!
A.: Sure it will--it'll wash right off.
Mom: That will waste water!
A.: You do wash your dish towels anyway, right?
Mom: We have paper towels for that! They're right here!
A.: Okay, mom. Sorry. I'll use a paper towel next time.
Mom: I mean, it's a dish towel! I use it to try dishes.
A.: I get it.
Mom: What made you think to use a dish towel??
A.: Are we going to talk about this for the next few hours?
Mom: Grrrr.
***
Mom: A.!!!!
A.: What?
Mom: See, they're going to start charging an annual fee! We have to deal with this.
A.: As I said when I first got here, give me the card and I'll deal with it.
Mom: You can't do it by phone... I tried.
A.: When you find the card for me I'll deal with it.
Mom: I don't know...
A.: Just give me the card.
***
Last night
Mom was washing the dinner dishes. I was cutting up papaya for dessert. Dad was engaging in his extremely annoying habit of grabbing cut papaya chunks out of the bowl.
A.: WTF? Can't you wait five minutes?
Dad: No.
Mom: No. Everything has to be on his timing. Tea has to be at a certain time. There has to be a certain amount of water...
Dad: Huh?
A.: What?
Dad: That's not the kind of timing she's talking about.
Mom: Always coming to her defense!
A.: Oh, mom told me today that you think I'm always right. Who knew.
Dad: What??
A.: I know.
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