Before dinner
Mom: Do you want some yogurt?
A.: No, thank you.
Mom: What's your problem with yogurt?
A.: I have no problem with yogurt; I just don't need any before dinner.
***
Dinner
A.: Cheers.
Mom: Cheers, boyari. Do you know what boyari are? In the days of Peter the Great...
A.: I do. You've told me this story a gazillion times.
Mom: What story?
A.: About how he ordered them to shave off their beards for the sake of modernity.
Mom: What do you know about Russian history?
A.: Enough that I don't want to talk about it over dinner.
Mom: Really: what do you know about Russian history?
Dad: Honestly, what kind of question is that?
Mom: Here we go, jumping to her defense... as soon as she can't answer a question...
Dad: It's an absurd question. I don't know how I'd answer that question.
Mom: I'd like a quick and inclusive response.
A.: What do you know about Russian history?
Mom: I'm not giving you the answer?
A.: The answer?
Mom: Right.
***
A.: Would anyone else ask some lentils?
Mom: Lentils should be eaten with butter. Of course, butter's probably not healthy enough for you.
A.: Butter has its place in my life, but the lentils are already moist enough without it. I sauteed them before adding water, so they already have buttery flavor.
Mom: You're so obsessive, always eating what's healthy.
A.: You're the one always lecturing me about nutrition, [often incorrectly].
Mom: You're right, these lentils are really good.
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