My Thanksgiving Clusterf*

Today, at work

A.: Hello?
Mom: You're really busy?
A.: I'm busy, but what's up?
Mom: There's going to be freezing rain, so we're not driving. What airlines fly into National?
A.: I can pick you up from the outer airports--not a big deal.
Mom: Do you have a minute to look for tickets?
A.: Just about.

A few minutes later.

Mom: Hello?
A.: So...
Mom: So there's this "roth... road..."
A.: What?
Mom: Roth or road...
A.: WHAT are you talking about?
Mom: We keep getting these people's mail. They live on C. Court rather than C. Street, but it's the same house number.
A.: Can we talk about that later, mom?
Mom: Right, you were saying?
A.: It's reasonably affordable for you to fly in and out of Baltimore, but only if you fly back on Monday rather than Sunday.
Mom: Oh, but then dad would have to miss work.
A.: Right.
Mom: Well, let me check in with him.
A.: Okay.

Later

A.: Have you decided yet whether you're driving or flying?
Mom: We're not driving for sure.
A.: Okay.
Mom: Why?
A.: I was going to ask you to bring some brandy if you were driving--one of my dessert recipes calls for it.
Dad: You're making food?

Are you f*ing kidding me? Did he think I was going to eat duck? Besides, we've discussed this.

Mom: Well, we can bring brandy even if we fly.
A.: No, you can't.
Mom: We could put it in checked luggage.
A.: Not worth it; I'll just buy some or do without.

Later

A.: I found you a ticket, returning Monday at 4pm.
Mom: That won't work, your father has a doctor's appointment. I suppose he could change it...
A.: There's not much earlier.

Later

A.: It just occurred to me that I won't be able to drive you back to the airport on Monday--I have to be at work that day.
Mom: Can't you get out of it?
A.: No, not that day. I mean, you can take the MARC train up to the airport.
Mom: Oh, no, no, no. We'd have to take a train? What a hassle!
A.: No, really, it's really straightforward.
Mom: And we'd have to spend an extra day in the city, just hanging out.
A.: As cities go, it's not a bad one to be stuck in for an extra day.
Mom: Is it really important to you that we come down?
A.: Well, I did invite you, but if it's going to be a big pain it's not worth it.
Mom: We can come down for your birthday instead.
A.: What? What does my birthday have to do with anything?
Mom: Does it mean a lot for us to come down?
A.: I've already answered that, mom. It would be good to see you, and I'm not going anywhere, but I didn't realize it was going to be this much of a pain.
Mom: Let's give it another day and see how it goes.
A.: Okay. Goodnight.
Mom: Goodnight.