I've found heaven in LOLmythesis

You can and should browse the entire site for yourself, but here are some of my favorites:

Avoiding people has its mental health benefits.

Clinical Psychology, University of the Philippines

If you set the bar lower, a larger proportion of people will meet your expectations.

Epidemiology, Emory University

Tyrannosaurs ate lots of bones, pooped them out, and then lots of things slapped onto the impressionable poop.

Museum Studies, University of Colorado

We found out that fish that look different are different species

Marine Biology, Boston Univeristy

Letting animals poop near water increases the amount of poop and E. coli found in the water.

Biology, Luther College

Calling people dirty sodomites for eons based solely upon a book written by sheepherders has led to gays not being able to have nice things, like tax breaks

Justice Studies, Westminster College

These Egyptians living in Israel used poop as a fuel, probably donkey poop.

Archaeology, University College London

Ancient Mesopotamian poetry: how to avert apocalypses by having oodles of sex.

Classics, Macalester College.

You can make spacetime do all kinds of wonderful things, and all you have to do is get rid of the conservation of energy.

Physics, Tufts University.

I made a movie and a cat was in the movie and the cat wouldn’t look at the camera so I yelled at the cat.

Film, Northwestern University

Really small things that go really fast are a lot like slightly bigger things that go slightly slower, but the smaller things can go faster than the big ones, unless the big ones also rotate. It turns out the big ones LOVE to rotate!

Physics, Rutgers University

New Jersey’s rivers are really, really freakin’ polluted. Here are some easy ways to fix them that no one will use.

Environmental Science, Brown University

Medieval knights pretended to be in love with pretty women, but in actual fact were far more interested in impressing other burly dudes in big shiny suits of armour.

English Literature, University of Cambridge

Lasers make really pretty shit when you pass them through funky glass. Also, chemistry makes pretty colors.

Photography, Hampshire College

Changing the food system: if you don’t like it, don’t buy it, but also convince millions of other people to not buy it, because sometimes this works, kinda; also surprise political philosophy—let me tell you why this is all really about citizenship!

Political Science, Davidson College

People don’t like it when hipsters paint their walls without asking first, except the people in question are also hipsters.

Political Science, Haverford College

19th century Americans were even more insufferable about food, dieting, and eating than modern Americans.

Composition and Rhetoric, UW-Madison

Not all monkeys eat bananas.

Ecology, University of Michigan

I dropped shit in sand, and it made a funny shape.

Physics, Haverford College

Phyllis Schlafly paved the way for Fox News: Misdirection, misinformation, and misogyny.

Communication, San Diego State University

Ancient Greeks and Romans knew about intestinal worms because they crawled out of their buttholes.

Classics, Kenyon College

Some people think the Messiah is here, some people think he hasn’t come yet, some people don’t give a fuck and just want to eat their rugelach in peace

Religion, Barnard College

Quantum Mechanics is wiggly.

Physics, University of California, Berkeley

Botticelli painted a lot of babes, and they all pretty much look the same.

Art History, Rutgers University

Greek creation myths are awesome because they’re not Christian creation myths.

Philosophy and Classics, University of St Andrews

Everyone is still afraid that if ladies go to women’s colleges, their ovaries will shrivel up. And then they’ll turn into lesbians.

History, Smith College

Aristotle wrote the first treatise on dramatic theory; some people listened, but most people just wanted more phalluses on stage.

Theater Design, Fordham University

I can try to make math tell you how many people get the flu every year, but it won’t ever be worth shit because idiots still won’t get their flu shot.

Biological Sciences and Applied & Computational Mathematics &Statisics, University of Notre Dame

Female quail want the cloaca: or how I spent 2 years watching birds have more sex than I do.

Behavioral Biology, Johns Hopkins University

Huge douchebags are more likely than teacher’s pets to sell nuclear technology to rogue states.

International Politics, Georgetown University

You can totally invent a religion and people will still completely and deeply believe it. And that’s ok.

Folklore & Mythology, Harvard

There is an anemone that might be having more sex than me.

-Environmental Science, Williams College

Nitrogen can improve plant growth in salt marshes, but it usually kills salt marshes, which is unfortunate because people won’t stop shitting or farming.

Environmental Biology, Georgetown

Resolving international conflicts is really fucking hard. And countries say shit they don’t do. Surprise, surprise.

Social Studies, Harvard College

Fuck You, Chomsky, Nothing Is Innate

Linguistics, Harvard