Brackets

Mom Madness, I know, is not as much fun as it used to be, but I can't help but think about what I'll hear about when my parents visit in two weeks. Here are your brackets/bingo squares:

(1) House

• Furniture is too dark
• Why do you live here?
• You need a house with a basement
• All your appliances are wrong

(2) Body

• What's wrong with your skin?
• I don't like your hair like that.
• Your butt is huge.
• You're too muscly for your own good. You used to be so delicate.

(3) Food

• You're an extremist.
• What's wrong with tomatoes?
• Why do you feel that you have to spend so much time on food?
• Vegetables will make you fat.

(4) Personality

• This is why you're single.
• Men like women who are more feminine/delicate and less muscly/intimidating/opinionated/shrewish.
• You talk too much/think you know everything.
• You're just a horrible person; I don't know how I spawned you.