Monday, September 5, 2016

Dating in DC

Can I take a break from dating? I so hate it. Every part of it and every kind of it: e-dating, speed dating, irl dating. There's an element of it that's interesting--it's an insight into these other humans. Humans of DC. Human males of DC. The stew of humanity that is DC.

The guy at speed dating who looked bored until he could talk about his cat--specifically, his cat's litter-box habits--at which point he perked up and didn't want to talk about anything else.

The guy who messaged me, who, in his profile, writes about how much he loves animals. And also hot dogs. The guy who goes on about how he can't stand pretentious people, only to follow up with pretentious quotes and other lines. This is also the guy who started his message to me with "oh snap" (if it matters, what followed did not work with 'oh snap'). The guys (I told you about these) who think women are "obligated" to keep their legs shaved.

The guy who talked about how he wouldn't shop at Whole Foods because they didn't have 'normal' ketchup. He's very serious about his ketchup and will only buy the best known brand. He puts ketchup on everything so it really matters to him. This is also the guy who kept glancing down at my chest periodically, presumably to make sure it was still there.

The guys who declare themselves "cute" or "attractive" (um, isn't that a subjective measure? a designation to be determined by someone else?). The guy who has the arch at Auschwitz among his profile pictures. The guys who are married but looking to cheat.

The more I date, the more I lose hope. I think I need a break, a reset. A short one (I know all about opting out for too long). The stew has been too much and I need to dry off for a while.

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