Mom has a very astute observation

Mom: Your butt has gotten big.
A.: [Shrug.]
Mom: Uh-huh; it has.

***
It took her 24 hours after I got here to start body-shaming, but that's mostly because she wasn't talking to me yesterday. Dad picked me up at the airport on his own, and when I said to hello to her as I walked in, she coldly said hello back. A few hours later, apparently after I didn't close the door quietly enough, she threw a fit to dad about how I'm a despicable person whom she does not want in this house. This morning, she threw a fit at dad about how her decorative pillow isn't quite right and it's all his fault. She's spent the last 20 minutes suggesting that we call everyone who plans on coming over tonight--it's dad's birthday--and give them permission to stay home because weather (there is no weather in Boston; nothing but blue skies, and the roads are clear). Apart from that, there's just running commentary about whatever's on TV, and random musings about the bear cub she sees in a tree in the back yard (she points us to her nest--she's decided that the bear cub is a her).

***
She's at it again.

Mom: Everyone knows that he was born. Big deal. We saw everyone recently. I suggest we call everyone and tell them to stay home.
A.: Mom, it's not snowing here.
Mom: You don't know about later tonight.
A.: Yes we do. It's not going to snow here. The streets are clear.
Mom: I say we call everyone and say, thank you for caring, but really, you can stay home. So he was born; big deal. I would give everyone permission to stay home.

Rinse, repeat.