Verizon

This complaint letter experience has been relatively painless: I know my mother is in the right (Verizon has billed her for a piece of hardware that she has returned and is harassing her over it); and my mother took it upon herself to write at least the outline of the letter herself, rather than trying to convey a very complex situation.

Still, it's been ongoing for months and months, and while this is largely the fault of the offending corporation, my mother's penchant for complaint letters [that other people, usually I] have to write has only prolonged it.

This morning, I once again edited my mom's letter to Verizon. I found myself re-editing things that I had previously changed. I've tried to explain to my mother, in the case of this letter and many others before it, that sarcasm and conspiracy theories do not help her cause. I'm the first to admit that in some cases, wit is desirable when you can pull it off (see under armour correspondence). However, mom's accusations, which presuppose a certain amount of agency among Verizon customer service employees, don't meet those requirements:

"I can't believe that Verizon service dysfunctional to the such extend that they do not aware that the contract provision (No penalty if terminated during first month of service) and the reason for termination.
I do not believe that whoever concocted the bills did not have the information that the equipment was returned.
I suspect that the way the bills were written and the time they were posted and mailed has the purpose to confuse and deceive.
They invented the creative way to structure Bills that make it very difficult to follow and understand.
I strongly suspect that the last bill of November 5/07 that I was so stupid to pay $140.00 only encouraged them to step up the harassment. By paying the Bill I gave the impression that I found the charges correct, the case is settled and I had no reason to keep my receipts any longer.
There are too many mistakes to consider them coincidental.
The time spread between the contract termination and the last bill added to my suspicion that they believe that the documents that could proof that that I own them nothing would be lost or discarded
Now I see that paying &140.11 was a mistake. It may give them the impression that I stupid enough to let them squeeze anything from me if they are persist."

I don't doubt that Verizon's bill format aims to confuse and deceive. I don't doubt that it succeeds and thereby elicits payments from people who cannot or choose not to examine their bills in detail. I am not unsympathetic to my mother's situation: Verizon has wrongly referred a seventy-two year old woman to a debt collector because she refuses to pay for a router that she has returned (and has the receipts to prove it, and has faxed them to Verizon more than once). I am more than willing to get Verizon off my mother's back and hopefully punish them for their behavior. I therefore ask my mother to help me help her by a) dropping the conspiracy theory language in her letter to consumer protection bureaus; b) writing to the address on the bill specifically provided for billing disputes, as I did many years ago when Verizon tried to charge me for services it did not fulfill; and c) generally meeting me half-way when I write complaint letters for her by actually listening to me about things like a) and b). And asking me whether it's a good time for me to write these letters.