Mom blames the Jews

We set out to [Nina's parents' place].

Mom: We'll stop at Ocean State Job Lot (OSJL) on the way back.
A.: It's closed.
Mom: It's always open.
A.: Everything's closed today.
Mom: Look at this! The roads are empty. Where is everyone?
A.: It's Christmas.
Mom: Everything really is closed, huh. That's a tragedy.
Dad: Especially OSJL.
A.: Now, now. The tragedy is that Jesus had to die for our sins.
Mom: He was Jewish, right?
Dad: On his mother's side, at the very least.

***
At [Nina's parents' place], Nina's mother (Natasha) asked me to help her bring down a fur coat. There was some confusion as to whom she was trying to give it to. She tried to clarify that she wouldn't even think of offering it to me, but mom insisted that I try it on so that she wouldn't have to try it on. I refused.

Natasha: When Nina was little, she came home from school one day and told me that if she ever saw me in a fur coat, she'd kill me.
Mom: Idiocy! That's what we get in Obama's America.
Nina's dad: That was definitely the issue when Nina was in second grade.
Mom: Just try it on!
A.: I don't want to!
Mom: If you don't try it on, it will have died for nothing.
A.: It's already dead.
Mom: That's my point. I have a headache.
A.: Because you're yelling.
Mom: No, I'm choking on the poisoned air of Obama's America. [To Natasha] I'll never forgive you for voting for him.
Natasha: Okay.

Natasha, to me: Your hair looks great up. You should always wear it up.
A.: Thank you. [To mom] Did you hear that?
Mom: What?
A.: My hair looks great up.
Mom: No it doesn't.

Nina's brother (Paul) put on an apron and started making something. His son, Ben, came downstairs (he was in the shower when we came in). Mom asked him who he was, and started lecturing me about how they had it right and it was time for me, too, to have children. Natasha told her that I was an adult who could manage my own life, and she and mom started arguing.

At some point, all hell broke loose. There were three sets of conversations going on at once, and I couldn't follow any of them. There was a lot of absurdity flying around, and I felt the need to take notes. Everyone must have seen me grab a pen and then get up in search of paper, but nobody bothered to notice, or dared to ask, about my taking notes.

Mom, to Nina's dad: We've known each other forever. You used to say that I was charming.
Nina's dad: You were charming, then. You had your own self to focus on, with the skydiving and motorcycling. I never knew what you were going to do next. Now you're focusing on someone else.
Mom: We need a smarter next generation! We need the next generation to vote against Obama.

Everyone bursts out laughing.

Mom: Seriously. I blame the Jews. [To me.] You think you're so smart on your own? We gave you smart genes. It's because you're a quarter Russian. The Jews voted for Obama. You can't trust them with anything. They betrayed Christ.

Everyone bursts out laughing again.

Mom: Your father wanted a boy. He was wrong. I was right.
Dad: You realize she's three-quarters Jewish?
Mom: So? She's a quarter Russian.