Hanoi and Ha Long Bay

We'd read great things about the night trains in Vietnam, and perhaps, had we taken the one originally intended--the slightly faster one, which was out of beds in the same compartment--from Hue to Hanoi, maybe we'd have appreciated what the fuss was about. Instead, we spent a long evening and night on a noisy, smoky train (no, smoking wasn't allowed but the people in the next compartment were doing it anyway and it wafted in). The views out the window were great while they lasted, but, though we wouldn't quite grow tired of the scenes of villages and rice paddies, we grew accustomed to them and they ceased to insire any emotions among us.

We arrived in Hanoi early and weary as hell. Immediately, hawkers and aggressive cab drivers were in our face, including one who wouldn't go away (he went as far as to pull up a chair as we got tea just outside the station). Why anyone would think that being that aggressive would get him any business is beyond me. I actually lost it and told him to f* off (he didn't understand me). In time, Jay (who had data) found a cafe that was open 24 hours, not too far away and on the way to the pick-up spot for our Ha Long Bay cruise. The streets of Hanoi were still pretty quiet and crossable. We walked by lots of people eating outside, as they do, either squatting or sitting on the kiddy chairs.


We made it to the backpacker place--Puku, I believe--and chilled there over breakfast and coffee. On my way to the restroom, I saw a rat, but that's just Hanoi. I was disappointed in my banana pancake; the ones at Hai Au hotel in Hoi An were delicious (though not as good as their mango pancakes), but this was literally a whole banana wrapped inside a crepe. So yeah, I had eggs, or products with eggs, for breakfast. It was inevitable. But you can take my word for it that these chickens were the freeest; we saw them all over the place.

From there, we went to meet our bus to Ha Long Bay, which would take four hours to get there. Four hours on a bus, especially after over twelve hours on a train, is a lot. This Ha Long Bay place had better be worth it, we thought. We were the only Americans on our bus; the rest were Brits, Germans, and French. There was a particularly punk-ass, smug, Aryan German hipster (the other Germans called him out, because he introduced himself as being from Bavaria) called Lotz. His bus seat wasn't enough for him, because his feet were practically in my face. When the tour guide--who wouldn't be our tour guide; apparently, the tour we'd booked was a bit higher-end, but that bus was full--talked about talked about failing her driving test but being invited to pay a bribe to get her license, he said, "why not, it's just money?" Later, I overheard him asking her where she'd traveled, and, with her saying that she'd not been out of the country, he thought to lecture her about how she really should get out more. That not everyone is a trustfunder didn't seem to occur to this kid.

In truth, I wasn't thrilled with this tour guide. She was trying too hard to be funny, and it got kind of exhausting. But she provided a lot of information about the country, and because this was our first tour, she was really the first to do it. Yes, those dogs you see are most likely, eventually, dinner. The Vietnamese used to love their dogs just like everyone else, but amid the famine imposed by the Japanese and French during World War II, they took to eating them, and haven't stopped. The tour guide believed that they would eventually, with time, but not yet. She also explained the motorcycles. Vietnam taxed cars at 200 percent, so people got motorcycles; there were two per household, on average. Don't worry, she said--just cross the street, the motorcycles will stop for you. The cars, maybe not, so keep more of an eye on those. The sage advice was, follow the locals, and that's what we often ended up doing--attaching ourselves to them and crossing in numbers.

She also told us a bit about Hanoi--about the old quarter and the French quarter. I'd read that the old quarter, which is full of merchants, is organized by ware, but she summed it up well: it used to be that goods were made in the old quarter to be sold elsewhere, and now they're made elsewhere to be sold in the old quarter. Indeed, on our way back to Hanoi, we saw some themes in the shops we passed.

But I jumped ahead; let's get back to the road to Ha Long Bay, and the rock formations we saw on the way.

Well, if we can see them from there, do we need the cruise? I wasn't sure.We got off the boat, met our actual guide, boarded our boat. The cabins were luxurious,

 
 and the food, amazing.

That is actually tofu, in the shape and texture of shrimp. They rocked vegan dishes every time. They also rocked garnishes, and then taught us to make them:

But it was really about Ha Long Bay.

That night, we cruised a bit, then kayaked. I went swimming (in what Jay dubbed the most scenic sewer he'd ever seen). After dinner, we crashed. At breakfast the next morning, I felt something in my mouth that was not food. It was a crown.

Jay: Does it hurt??
A.: Um, no...
Cruise staff: Can we do anything for you?
A.: I don't think so. Can you recommend a dentist in Hanoi?
Guide: We can just drop you off anywhere in Hanoi, there'll be a dentist.

When we had signal again--and by the way, we had wifi just about everywhere in Indochina: every hotel, every restaurant, every cafe--I emailed our hotel. They let me know that there was a dentist's office, open until 8pm, a short walk away.

We sailed on, stopped at Surprise Cave (so named by the French). It was, like many things we saw, including Ha Long Bay itself, mind-blowing in a way that my camera couldn't capture.

 We left the cave, headed back to our boat.

We'd opted for a one-night cruise. The two-night cruises stop at Cat Ba island. We didn't have a lot of time (we had a flight to catch), and we'd read that Cat Ba was a waste of time. In retrospect, we probably made the right decision under the circumstances, but we would have been happy to spend another night/day in Ha Long Bay. It was just so beautiful and mostly peaceful.

So back to Hanoi we went. It wasn't a scenic drive as advertised, but we got there, four hours later. Hanoi was bustling.


We checked into our hotel, and Jay walked me to the dentist. The dentist's office had big windows--you could see them working from the street. I showed the dentist my crown. She sat me down in the dentist's chair, said it would be ten minutes. And it was; after which, she charged me 200,000 dong (about $10), told me not to eat for two hours, and sent me on my way.

We headed back to the hotel, where happy hour was happening. Jay wouldn't let me partake in the fresh spring rolls, which he'd found to be the freshest spring rolls ever, but the hostess made me one later, just before she closed up the kitchen. Our hotel wasn't the fanciest--we walked by some really nice ones--but you couldn't beat the price, and as elsewhere, the service really made the hotel. The staff just went out of their way to be helpful. And there was something incredibly natural, innate about the service culture.

The next day, we explored Hanoi. We passed lots of people carrying vegetables,

 and walked around the lake.

Then we toured Hỏa Lò prison, also known as the Hanoi Hilton.

Afterward, we went to the Temple of Learning--Vietnam's first university.

 And had a lovely vegetarian lunch at Nha Hang Chay Thien Phat (below).

With that, we were ready to leave Hanoi for Luang Prabang. We returned to the hotel and collected our stuff, and waited for the taxi that the hotel arranged for us. Alas, it pulled up on the opposite side of the street. One of the hotel reception ladies either noticed my trepidation or didn't, but she took my elbow in hers and walked me across the street.