Saturday afternoon roundup

Nope, can't say there's a problem with the way we handle (or even talk about) sexual assault in this country. 

Or sex, for that matter.

Or children: parent essentially accuses non-parents of contributing nothing to society (to set up her being able to say that nonparents should have to put up with whatever bullshit other people's kids impose on them), and other comemnters respond with amazing reason and restraint in pointing out that she's very much off base. This not-so-restrained comment sums it up best, though.

Saturday morning ramble

I've decided not to go see Jennifer Oullette read today, even though I'd love to hear her. I was leaning toward going, even though Politics & Prose is a pain in the ass to get to (pick your poison: content with the red line on a weekend day and then walk fifteen minutes, or drive through DC). But the ironic, deciding variable is that my brain needs a break from science (so I won't be going to a reading on the science of the self).

Having to learn and think so much during the work week that one needs a break over the weekend is a first-world problem, even in the first world. Even in my world. I'd hate to have a job where I didn't have to learn or think. And I wouldn't relish too much brain rest--such as that imposed upon a friend of mine by her doctor, after she incurred a concussion. But this week--capped by a happy hour, last night, where I found myself in a conversation about plutonium disposition, and launched by a trivia night on Monday--makes me wonder whether I need a life.

Both of these after-hours events were a blast, but trivia with a team of good friends who work on the same issues I do and happy hour with people I hadn't met before but who work on the same issues I do... make me want to run the f* away from those issues. And that bleeds into staying away from related issues. Or science. About this time last year, I felt like I could use a break from the arts (another first-world problem, I know). A year later, I can't wait to go to the ballet in a few days... but I'll be abstaining from the Space Week festivities.

Saturday morning roundup

Zoos kill healthy animals all the time. Stick with 'good' zoos.

Food waste is rampant.

Good parenting and healthy spousal relationships needn't be mutually exclusive.

Although this column is, on the face of it, about a very important point in its own right--be very, very wary of sanctimonius men who think they're the biggest feminists out there--it's also just generally good advice for dealing with disagreeable people: it's not your responsibility to educate them or make them agreeable; just hold your own, but let them be.

On a related note, don't be weighed down by the insensitive comments of people who don't get it and don't matter. It's their issue and not yours. (Lots of other good stuff in that chat.)

I always have mixed feelings--and (reverse) double standards--about people expressing a preference for a body type (or any other aspect of the physical appearance) of their significant others. I do believe that it can be a health and fitness issue, although it doesn't seem to be, in the case of this LW, and I also think people have a "right" not to be attracted to certain body types (just as some dudes proudly proclaim--as if they should get a medal--that they're disgusted by thin women and prefer more voluptuous shapes, and other dudes deride overweight women, there are some people who don't announce their preferences as if it's women's jobs to conform to them, but nonetheless prefer a certain look). I mean, we've been over this. I've seen research, lately, about how beards are supposed to be attractive, but I personally find them revolting. There's nothing wrong with having that preference--and I would be willing to overlook it as needed--but there's also a lot to be said for what Carolyn says: it's not your job to be perfect for anyone, and love shouldn't be conditioned upon something no one can promise to control or one's service to someone else and his preferences.

Where the double-standard part comes in is, if you're going to be hitting on women because they look good, you better f*ing look good yourself--and by look good, I mean, be doing the best with what you've got. Just sayin.'

Thursday roundup

Turkey's PM is apparently reaping the justice system that he sowed.

I wish that blatant victim-blaming were shocking but it's sadly business as usual. That doesn't make it any less f*ed up, especially in this egregiously f*ed up case.

A baby had a tumor with teeth removed from his brain.

Gail Collins explains why Arizona was extraordinary but there's more detail here. And I call on marrying straight couples to request penis cakes made there.

Not-so-quick ramble: "uncultured bitches"

"Uncultured bitches!" was how Jay described the friends with whom he watched the opening ceremonies of the Sochi Olympics. I didn't see the ceremonies, so I can't speak specifically to those, but that description has emerged as a refrain for me as I've come across Russia coverage over the last few weeks especially.  I recently called out a Washington Post writer's coverage of Russian food  (along the lines of, ew, none of these foods look like breakfast), but I'll do it again here: look, sparky, there's no such thing as a universal concept of breakfast. What you think of as breakfast may well be confounding to other countries (see Exhibit A). If you can't handle the concept of breakfast being different in other places, don't leave the country. I'm not saying you can't notice or describe what's different; I'm saying, try not to be a dipshit about it. See how Julia Ioffe wrote about Russian food.  

It's not just food; there's a right way and a wrong way to write about other countries--even about the things that are very different in other countries. The right way is to approach cultural diffences with open-mindedness, fascination, and curiosity; the wrong way is to approach them with condescension and bewilderment that anyone would do things differently.

And a very common theme for American condescension toward Russian culture is... beauty. Remember that recent Times article about Gorky Park?

Asked why they were taking pictures, the two young women hesitated as if the question were so dumb it might be a trick.

“We are pretty,” Ms. Ignatova said.

Isn't that... refreshing? Considering the hang-ups that plague American women around admitting the same? It came up again week or so ago, on the topic of the lingerie modeling: Russian women just don't see what all the fuss is about. I've written about beauty (as a sociocultural phenomenon) a lot, and there are multiple links embedded in the above links.

I guess I wouldn't take issue with Americans' horror at the exploitation of those poor, lingeried athletes if our own relationship with beauty (and nudity) weren't so f*ed up. But as it were, I do see the Russian version as an improvement: there, women are allowed to own their beauty. It's not something they have to be ashamed of until it's officially bestowed upon them externally. It's like, "I look good, so either join me in revelling in my beauty or eat it, bitch," rather than, "oh, really? you think I may not be hideous? you're so kind to say that." And then, there's the pervasive "idea" that women can't be attractive and smart and competent (and the associated idea that a woman who dares to be attractive is looking for attention). In one of those inner-linked posts, I talked about the backlash against Kate Upton, who somehow thought she'd get to maintain her humanity even as she worked as a model.

There are lots of things about Russian culture I don't care to defend--and I'm not even talking about foreign and domestic policy, which is a distinct thing; even just culture. But I will defend the culture, as a whole, against uncultured bitches.

Wednesday roundup and quick ramble

Ukraine hasn't stopped functioning, but keeping it together is going to be complicated.

So you don't care about pigs; fair enough. Do you care about water?

More science about how men needn't be smug about aging, with regard to parenting.

Jezebel's guide to writing about females (summary: it's not rocket science (but if it's about rocket science, focus on the rocket science, not on the shoes)).

I'd blogged earlier about expensive, status-seeking behavior; it turns out that David Ramsey sums it up: "We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.”

Among the things you don't need for money you don't have: butt implants. Take it from someone with a formidable backside: it's not that hard to make your own.

I was not previously aware that Mark Twain had thoughts (or writings) on this matter.

***
I've been thinking, lately, about how the internet is just so f*ing vapid. A very original thought, I know... so I should specify that I mean the part of the internet that used to be at least mostly substantive. Exhibit A has been the Huffington Post--never entirely hard-hitting, but once more so than the fluff-and-spin site that it is now. It's just a contentless mass of bull$hit. And then there was the Slate Double XX piece on tights, which rivals the Jezebel series on Foods That Should Not Exist. I'm not asking these sites to be all seriousness, all the time, but is there anything to be gained by engaging in pissing fights about things that don't matter? Some people love tights; some people don;'t get tights; who the f* cares?? Is it even worth addressing? Some people love tofu; other people love Twinkies. That's certainly worth addressing, but not in a culture-war way. This type of coverage is a microcosm of idiotic internet discourse that dumbs us all down and wastes our time. F*ing hell, stop writing about tights, especially with regard to other people's preferences. Who. The. F*. Cares??

Sunday roundup

I'm telling you guys now, if I ever change careers to be a kleptocrat, the last thing I'm going to buy for the palace is a pirate ship.

As with any such study, take with a massive grain of salt (and keep in mind that surnames signify the lineage of only one parent) but check out this interesting take on social mobility through the generations.

Some very wealthy people help speed along the downfall of their offspring by eschewing vaccines.

Smart, informed people can nonetheless disagree.

Amazing, creative medical miracles.

Here's some more stuff, like banana peels, you can clean with.

Oh, WashPo, maybe next time leave your uncultured rednecks stateside? Do you not know that it's idiotic when "journalists" go abroad and write about how what they see for breakfast, doesn't strike them as breakfast? Also, for the record (since you don't fact-check): kasha is any kind of porridge, not specifically buckwheat; pelmyeni--along those same lines--are any kind of savory dumplings, not, specifically, those with meat in them; and tvorog is basically cottage cheese.

Saturday roundup

Oh, Texas!
 

I haven't read "Lean In" and I can't speak to whether Rosa Brooks interpreted the right message, but I wanted to link to her column together with this one, which I also only partially agree with. The shared topic is, what really makes someone a foreign policy expert? I don't know that the more you know, the less you talk, but I'd say that there's not a direct correlation: some very vocal people know a lot and other very vocal people are full of $hit. So then--back to Rosa Brooks--do you have to be out there all the time to maintain your go-to-expert status?

There are real issues with Common Core, but I don't think the use of letters in math is one of them.

 

As I keep telling you guys, these straight-talking columns to women are actually pretty insulting to men.
 Carolyn points out that anyone can have issues, so don't dismiss someone who's coming to terms with her past.

Pictures of (people in) Russia.

Mom thinks my hairline is receding

Mom: are you staring to lose your hair?

A.: no, why?

Mom: your forehead looks really big.

A.: what?

Mom: your forehead is huge. Are you sure your hairline isn't receding?

A.: yup.

Mom: huh.

Friday roundup

The shadiest Ukranian protesters are causing trouble for the rest.

Egypt persecutes journalists.

Solitary confinement serves no one.

It's true: Washington doesn't quite have the philanthropic culture of more affluent, money-status cities, and that's sort of a good thing. But so is David Rubenstein's paradigm-shifting generosity.

Old news--and even old op-ed--but caring about food isn't an evil-elitist thing.

I've gotta ask--and the Hot Pockets made of unsound and diseased animals is the tip of the iceberg these days--why eat meat??

That you can and should be polite without being "chivalrous" is a worthwhile observation; same with not judging people because you don't know what invisible disabilities or other challenges they do have. But hell yes I will judge able-bodied people who don't give up their seats on public transportation. And I won't judge anyone for being obese, but I will absolutely resent you for invading my personal space.

Yawny Thursday evening roundup

Most people  in Phnom Penh aren't sure what to do with buses.

If you need additional motivation to put down the pork...

Beware of "science" journalism that's not.

More than half of the products at Walmart is banned from the shelves of Whole Foods.

Whales (seen) from space!

Virginia is apparently for lovers with ADD.

If you're looking for signs of the apocalypse, ladies from all over the world are  seeking my views on whether to call that guy (spoiler alert: no).

Tuesday roundup

California police outdo Florida police in clueless brutality.

Steven Strogatz's tips for writing about math are pretty applicable to teaching anything new and scary on the surface.

Ugh, that reminds me, I'm still only a few chapters into the delightfully written "Americanah."

We need to get to the point where food makers are catering to vegans the way they are to the gluten-free. And, tee hee, yellowcake was a challenge.

Um, it's amazing that some people think that vacation is a frivolous luxury expense (as opposed to a new car).

Yup.

So stop telling me—"family values" traditionalists, shitty rom-coms, and Zales commercials—that it is my biological imperative to trap a complete stranger into a lifelong contract based entirely on how many diamonds he's willing to buy me with. Stop telling me that when you're choosing someone to sleep next to every single fucking day until you die, your personalities and goals and aspirations are irrelevant. Stop telling me that my lived experience is "nothing" compared to some numbers cooked up by a repressed bigot with an agenda.

 and yup

I reject all of this stupid, boring, outdated shit. I reject your numbers. I reject the idea that my personality is a negligible variable in the equation of my happiness. I reject the implication that you understand my relationship better than I do. Do not insult my intelligence by telling me that the best way to avoid divorce is to marry a stranger when you're too young to even know yourself. Don't try to bluff me into swallowing your lie that a world with more marriages is objectively a better world. You cannot trick me into believing that divorce is a failure of society and not a grand fucking triumph, and you will not drag me and the rest of society into the past with you.

Hippie guide to value-setting

I may or may not be wearing a diamond ring on my (middle) finger. I mean, I'm wearing a ring on my middle finger--that's just the finger it fits best; read into that what you will--and the stone in it may or may not be a real diamond. It's pretty convincing, but there are as many reasons to think it's not a diamond as there are to think it is. My mother gave it to me over the summer, and she'd kept it in the safe deposit box (where she also keeps a bunch of costume jewelry). She'd always kept it alongside my grandmother's (and great-grandmother's) earrings, which are studded with real (albeit smaller) diamonds. Those are the earrings that were returned to my grandmother when her mother passed away in hospice, even as the half-loaf of bread that my grandmother had brought her mother the day before was not returned, because such were the times. I've heard [Nina's dad] yell at my mom, more than once, for taking the great risk of smuggling the jewelry out of the Soviet Union. I'm just not sure--and neither are my parents, at this point--whether the ring, or even the stone, was part of the storied jewelry. Nobody seems to remember where the ring came from (insert your own Hobbit joke); it must have been in the family, because it's not like my mother made a habit of buying anything other than costume jewelry with new-agy stones, but it doesn't look heirloomy (the earrings definitely do).

Monday evening roundup

There may yet be accountability for North Korea's crimes against humanity (that second link is not for the weak-hearted/stomached).  

Montana is not unlike DC in harassing rape victims.

Hope none of you ended up with the feces-smeared meat (or sexually transmitted food poisoning).

Roger Angell reflects, beautifully, on life in his nineties.

Monday morning roundup

The world has gotten better for more people since I last saw graphics like these, at least in the way of access to food, water, and electricity. The one on language (at the full site) is interesting, too.

A new book on Alzheimer's caregivers.

Marion Cory's column on her self-defined androgyny makes me crazy. She defines vulnerability and manners (saying "please" and "excuse me") as feminine, and strength as masculine, and then goes on about how she chooses strength, and therefore doesn't feel at home in the women's locker room. Mind you, she's not actually transsexual; just nonconforming to her own constructs of gender traits. Does she not realize that she's just confining other, less original (in her view) people to gender stereotypes?

Krugman, writing about Comcast, reminds us that monopoly rarely breeds innovation and service.

Reading about (declining) British pub culture brings back surprisingly strong memories.

I will never look at corkscrews the same way again.

Really, guys? (I'm, not for the first time, reminded of why I'm not on Facebook).

Francine Prose on why she is back to writing bad reviews

It depresses me to see talented writers figuring out they can phone it in, and that no one will know the difference. I’m annoyed by gossip masquerading as biography, by egomaniacal boasting and name-dropping passing as memoir. It irks me to see characters who are compendiums of clichés. I can’t explain precisely why a sentence like “His eyes were as black as night” should feel like an insult, but it does. It’s almost like being lied to.

With that, I'm glad to be advised not to read Mitchell Stephens' new book on atheism, even though the advising column itself is ever so tiresome (I expect no less from Adam Gopnik, who has been guilty of sentences far worse than "his eyes were as black as night." He doesn't do that in this review, but he does drown a few interesting ideas in his pompous, self-indulgent, wordy style.

But let's end on a positive note, or a book that one would want to read: Nancy Ectoff's "Survival of the Prettiest." There was little new information in the excerpts here, but old news is still interesting from a different angle. We've long known--or we've long had reason to know--that no one else (except our mothers, if yours is anything like mine) notices the minor flaws and fluctuations in our appearance that can obsess us. It is interesting that the writer makes a distinction between beauty--the raw, human experience--and "fashion," or the "manufactured stand-ins" for beauty that the "beauty" industry uses to get people to buy things. I'd heard before about Eleanor Roosevelt; this is not in that column but maybe there's more about it in the book--my understanding is that her parents, who were both known as beautiful people, relentlessly mocked her for her perceived lack of beauty--so I wonder how much of her regrets have to do with her upbringing about beauty rather than the thing itself. But it does go to show that no amount of substance--we're talking about the woman who pioneered international human rights law--will displace the very human compulsion for beauty. It reminds me of two other distinguished regretters: Nora Ephron, who suggested she'd have been a different person had she been well-endowed (PDF) and Serge Gainsburg, who apparently said, among other things on the matter fo beauty, that he has too great an appreciation for beauty to not be bothered by his own appearance.

And yes, Russian women just don't see what all the fuss is about.

Sunday afternoon roundup

Yeah, it's not like we couldn't see the limits of Dayton coming.

Hong Kong's indentured servitude problem.

As goes Lviv... ?

Coal--the gift that keeps on giving--keeps on giving.

Missouri tells the haters to f* off.

People incriminate themselves by social media but also sometimes also draw suspicion even when they've done nothing wrong.

FFS, why reproduce if you're going to give your kids names like these?

Bad things happen when we overpoliticize things better addressed through reasonable, intelligent discourse.

Lori Gottlieb should really shut up, says science:

The average marriage today is weaker than the average marriage of yore, in terms of both satisfaction and divorce rate, but the best marriages today are much stronger, in terms of both satisfaction and personal well-being, than the best marriages of yore.

East and West in simple graphics.

Yawny Friday morning roundup

Well, Tetley tea never tasted good, but let's hope better tea (Ahmad, for example) also employs better human rights practices.

Unvaccinated student disease agent exposes thousands to measles. 

The supermassive black hole in the middle of our galaxy is not unlike the Cookie Monster.

Guys, some asshole at Jezebel thinks antivalentine's days is lame. That's that, then... all parties are off. Actually, I don't know what exactly her problem is because the post was too tiresome to read. Meanwhile, elsewhere on the site, another writer sites wearing fur as a sign of magnificence.

Yes, I know there's a delay, but I actually have to be at work earlier than usual.

Snowy Thursday afternoon roundup

Of course I only discipline other people's kids when there's no other adult supervision (even when there is parental presence). A snow day ago I told off a small child for telling me that I'd used a lot of toilet paper (she used the stall after I did, and caught me on my way out after I washed my hands). I told her that, actually, the toilet paper had been accumulating rather than flushing, but that it was none of her business and that what she said wasn't very polite, but that she wasn't my problem. If your kids are in the business of disciplining other people's adults, those adults automatically have the right to discipline those kids right back.

For all we know, Karlie Kloss could be naturally emaciated, but the point remains that the extreme thinness valued in the fashion industry comes at an aesthetic cost as well as a social one.

I didn't love the dress, but that's because FLOTUS was drowning in it, not because I was hoping she'd dress for People of Walmart.

Snowy Thursday morning roundup

Theodore R. Johnson suggests that Black History Month would be more beneficial were it less history-oriented.

LEGO ads didn't used to be detrimental to creativity:

What’s the problem with girl LEGOs? Why is everyone against pink?, ask many parents. I’ll let Rachel Giordano answer that question: “Because gender segmenting toys interferes with a child’s own creative expression. I know that how I played as a girl shaped who I am today. It contributed to me becoming a physician and inspired me to want to help others achieve health and wellness. I co-own two medical centers in Seattle. Doctor kits used to be for all children, but now they are on the boys’ aisle. I simply believe that they should be marketed to all children again, and the same with LEGOs and other toys.”

Side boob is in (and there are plenty of cosmetic surgeons out there, now legally permitted to implant the perfect shape).

The value of diamonds is all in your mind, but there are plenty of marketers out there convincing you to drop tons of money on them.

All I can say is NSFW.

Lotus flower for my first world problem: this is the least work-disruptive snow day we've had so far, but still. I'm going to try to pry open the trunk of my car so I can get the shovel out, then engage in lots of quality shoveling time, and then, probably, work from home.

Wednesday evening roundup

Is anyone surprised that a health study sponsored by an entity with a financial stake in the results, turned out to be really wrong?

Yeah, I guess, but is there ever a "humane" way to raise chickens for slaughter? I wish meat eaters would stop kidding themselves. I mean, keep eating meat if that's your thing, but stop trying to convince yourself or anyone else that it's humane.

Parents: keep being self-righteous if that's your thing, but don't be shocked when people tell you to STFU.

These famous portraits in recycled materials are amazing.

The Toast's take on online discourse regarding ladyscaping is priceless.