Win (draw), lose, lose

I hadn't called my parents since Monday--and on Monday, I only talked to dad, as mom was asleep. He told me that she'd been going ape$hit over Crimea and lashing out at family friends who disagreed with her or held more balanced views. I worked late on Tuesday and Thursday, and went out on Wednesday and Friday. I mean, I didn't work so late that I couldn't call, but I worked late enough (and enough in general) that I knew no good would come of talking to my parents. Mom pushes my buttons on a good day; why am I going to call her when I'm tired and cranky, if it's going to end in my snapping at her no matter how determined I am not to?

So I didn't call during the rest of the week, and I didn't call in the morning since I had to get out of the house and had planned on calling this afternoon. But they called me and gave me $hit for not having called. That was the first loss by winning (i.e., not having talked when I was likely to have snapped). The second one hasn't happened yet, but the morning call has positioned me for it.

They asked where I was running off to, and I said I'd tell them later, hoping they'd forget to ask. I generally don't love telling my parents where I'm going or where I've been, because (1) mom has a criticism for everything ("why are you out so late?" or "that's expensive") and (2) I just don't like reporting to anyone about my comings and goings. But I especially didn't want to tell my parents that I was going to get a massage. I mean, if mom gives me $hit about paying for a haircut, you can only imagine what she'd have to say about a massage.

The truth is, like a good haircut, a massage is as much necessity as luxury. It's not about the spa experience; it's about releasing the $hit out of my insanely tense muscles. Every time I get a massage, the masseur or masseuse says something along the lines of, "what the hell are you doing to yourself?" I carry groceries; I carry a handbag, with my lunch in it, to work; I do yardwork and housework. And I end up with lots and lots of knots as a result.

As ridiculous and predatory as many groupons are (botox, BS weight-loss treatments, etc.), groupons have made massages affordable. I actually no longer use groupons because I've found a couple of really good providers (and once you go regularly, there are often savings in that, too). But groupons let you try different places at a lower price. Anyway, massages are not cheap, but they're worth paying for. But that's not something I'm going to even try to explain to my mother, so I have to think of something else to tell her if she asks. I don't like lying--especially not to my parents--and I don't do it unless it's just better for everyone. And that's the case at hand.