Tuesday roundup

Is it legal to throw out a judge?

Much needed commentary on Beyonce's feminism (and more here). Lemme excerpt for now and maybe over the weekend I'll have more energy for analysis. Here's the line that sums it all up:

Why is a woman’s appreciation for her body and her astronomical levels of self-confidence painted as indecency and immorality?

And, from the second article,

These appraisals are perplexing amid a wave of feminist ideology rooted in the idea that women own their bodies. It is the feminism of SlutWalk, the anti-rape movement that proclaims a skimpy skirt does not equal a desire for male attention or sexual availability. Why, then, are cultural critics like Freeman and Petersen convinced that when Beyoncé pops a leather-clad pelvis on stage, it is solely for the benefit of men? Why do others think her acknowledgment of how patriarchy influences our understanding of what's sexy is mere "lip service"?

Dr. Sarah Jackson, a race and media scholar at Boston's Northeastern University, says, "The idea that Beyoncé being sexy is only her performing for male viewers assumes that embracing sexuality isn't also for women." Jackson adds that the criticism also ignores "the limited choices available to women in the entertainment industry and the limited ways Beyoncé is allowed to express her sexuality, because of her gender and her race."

Side note: I don't care much for Beyoncé's music, but I respect her as a successful businesswoman who owns her art. Just like I've always found Ellen DeGeneres tiresome as hell, but I've respected her success. And just like you may not like Kate Moss's "art"--I personally admire her style and her self-branding--but you've gotta respect her economic power. Ironically, I do love the music of the (black, female) artists that the writer goes on to describe as lesser commercial successes:

Solange, Beyoncé's sister, who has gone for a natural-haired, boho, less sexified approach to her music, remains a niche artist, as do Erykah Badu, Janelle Monáe, and Shingai Shoniwa of the Noisettes, like so many black female artists before them. Grace Jones, Joan Armatrading, Tracy Chapman, Meshell Ndegeocello—talented all, but quirky black girls, especially androgynous ones, don't sell pop music, perform at the Super Bowl, or get starring roles in Hollywood films.

On another note: feminism and meaningful, nourishing relationships are anything but mutually exclusive:

During an interview with Oprah Winfrey before the Life Is But a Dream premiere, Beyoncé spoke passionately about her partner of more than a decade, saying, "I would not be the woman I am if I did not go home to that man." This comment prompted Dodai Stewart at Jezebel to write, "Wouldn't you like to believe she'd be amazing whether or not she went home to a man? (She would be.) It's a much better message when she talks about how powerful she is as a woman and what a woman can do—without mentioning Mr. Carter."

Surely a woman can be powerful and simultaneously admit that her marriage is profound and life altering. Beyoncé did not pronounce herself useless without marriage. On the contrary, she has said she was in no rush to marry the man she met at 18. "I feel like you have to get to know yourself, know what you want, spend some time by yourself and be proud of who you are before you can share that with someone else." 

and

President Barack Obama, made a very similar claim about his spouse post-2008 election: "I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years...Michelle Obama." 

To sum it up:

We are, even the most diligent of us, influenced by gender, race, and other identities. And we make personal and professional decisions based on a variety of needs and pressures. Judging each other without acknowledging these influences is uncharitable at best and dishonest at worst. A tiny top and a traditional marriage should not be enough to strip a woman otherwise committed to gender equality of the feminist mantle. If we all had pundits assessing our actions against a feminist litmus test, I reckon not even Gloria Steinem and bell hooks would pass muster. Women must be allowed their humanity and complexity. Even self-proclaimed feminists. Even Queen Beys.

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The Onion on the secret to interacting with women.

My regular readers, however few, know that I often quote Carolyn Hax. Her advice is not only spot-on in and of itself, but her magic is in seeing (and explaining) the specific issue at hand in a broader context. She does it expertly here, just the other day:

“How can I handle this without upsetting my daughter” — so much in this one phrase. Your job on this earth is not to get through your days without upsetting people, as abuse often conditions people to believe.

Your job is to figure out who you are, and what being that person requires of you. Then your job is to stay true to that as kindly as possible without compromising any of your core; how your efforts are received is beyond your control. Good people consider and care about others’ feelings, yes — but please don’t confuse that with being beholden to them.

Wow. So unbelievably valuable, particularly in light of a follow-up letter from someone who doesn't see what the big deal is. But Carolyn misses the mark, in my humble opinion, in today's letter: yes, everyone has annoying habits, but isn't there a middle way? Might have Carolyn included in her advice, "why not find a solution that is satisfactory to you both? Clearly, this habit bothers your wife; a bigger question is, why are you taking it personally, and what are you taking it personally? Her issue with the grocery bags, or the way she communicates that issue to you?" Because there needs to be a way, in any relationship, to say, "the way you do this is really problematic for me. Can we find a different way that works for both of us?"

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A diver beautifully helps an injured dolphin.


Pronunciation--itself a commonly mispronounced word--needn't be an indicator of status (or, literally, a shibboleth). But please, please don't go saying "nucular." Just. Don't.