Exercising while pregnant will probably make your kid smarter.
This about sums up how I feel:
Anyone that's walked into a CVS or turned on a TV since Halloween knows that the real holiday-related war isn't on Christmas; it's a war on November. And Christmas is the aggressor. Christmas is why K Mart employees aren't allowed to request Thanksgiving off this year. Christmas is why by the time December rolls around, I already want to build a time machine, go back in time, and punch Bing Crosby in the neck because I'm sick of hearing him crooning all over the place. Christmas is meant to be a holiday season that lasts a little more than a month, not one that facefucks you with tinsel for two months starting every November first. Christmas needs to chill the fuck out and wait its goddamn turn. I've got Thanksgiving recipes to Pinterest and I still have to figure out How to Hanukkah, since this year I'll be spinning the menorah or lighting the dreidel or WHATEVER IT IS THAT PEOPLE DO for the first time in my life. I don't have time for Christmas deals until at least November 25th.
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