We should have literally knocked on wood

Mom is having a massive meltdown.

Mom, screaming and shaking her finger: I've always done everything myself and brought everything myself! Everything beautiful in this house is mine! I bought this house. I've done everything and I will continue to do everything! That is the way it's going to be!

At least I see the forest now!

A.: What forest?

Mom: Don't you know there's a forest there? With a bear cub?

***
Mom broke the blinds, not for the first time. Tore them right out of their holder. There wasn't enough light for her, and now it's blinding. She was in the process of breaking the second set, against my entreaties ("I'll do whatever I want!"), when dad got back.

Dad: What have you done? I already had to replace them once. You know I'm not supposed to be exposed to bright light.

A.: Do you want me to try to fix it?

Dad: No, I already know what to do.

Mom: Now I have light!

Dad: You had light before. Now it's too bright.

Mom: I had to see what was going on over there!

Dad: You're not the only one in this house.

Mom: I'm the only one who's ever brought anything good into this house.

Rinse, repeat.