Saturday, July 7, 2012

Saturday morning roundup

When my mother argues that not all religions have the potential for violence and abuse and claims Buddhism as an example, I point her to Sri Lanka.

A DDR success story in Nigeria.

The case for preglimony.

WTF, Metro? WTF, Pepco?

Where to go if you need a hug.

Gail Collins has some political physics for us. Also, see Milbank on Walsh.

This issue of single people as unlovable lepers has been a frequent topic of discussion lately. I don't remember whether I posted this excellent rebuttal. Here's an excerpt:
The amazing thing about life is how many complete assholes manage to find someone willing to put up with their bullshit and marry them. When I was a single person, the thing that crushed me the most when I was feeling lonely wasn’t that I thought I’d never find a spouse. It was that Donald Trump did. Three times. Ben Roethlisberger? Totally married. Michele Bachmann! Married to another asshole. Michael Vick? Just spent $300,000 on his wedding this weekend. The “Real Housewives“? They are, by definition, married. I always wonder why self-help books and matchmaker shows bother shaming perfectly nice people into becoming “marriage material” when so many complete shits of human beings didn’t change a thing about themselves and still found love.
Of course, married assholes don’t have to be famous. They can be these assholes, who had a three-day wedding celebration that they made their guests cook and pay for. They could be this asshole, who dumped a bridesmaid because she was fat. Assholes get married all the time...

Friday, July 6, 2012

Friday evening roundup

Coolest evangelical preacher ever: "Homosexual activity and overeating are both sins – just like speeding, gossip, lying and cheating. I think I did all of those just today."

Sexism in the workplace begins at home.

Can you take yet another heartfelt tribute to Nora Ephron? 


Foreign Policy can be hilarious


This silly cookies debate just makes me angry. It really is about adapting one's family role--which may or may not be based on one's gender--on one's family's needs at the time.


On the topic of Post articles that piss me off--perhaps I should start a new label in their honor--what the hell is this? Read it and please explain to me how it's not a complete waste of space. Did anybody actually learn anything from that? Was there any (non-obvious) practical information provided therein? Am I missing out on an opportunity to get paid for writing really obvious tips on how to accommodate your vegetarian/vegan friends, like, "if you have a garden, pick some vegetables from it"? I'm sorry but if you need special advice on how to make food without meat in it, you're probably much too dependent on meat. Impromptu visits from vegetarians are probably the least of your concerns.

Friday morning roundup

Behind Haiti's poster project, unsustainable development.

This is not the day and age where you can pull corporate assholery without anyone noticing.

I am not the only one with ICS battery issues.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Thursday evening roundup

Pew finds itself in a controversy over its report on Asian-Americans.

I'm so grateful to PC World for addressing the notification bar spam issue and to the tools recommended therein to get rid of it. This is one of those cases where the sneakiness ("no consent, no disclosure") was worse than the thing; I could have lived with the ads--as annoying as they were--but they came from out of nowhere and I thought they might be malware-based (I was not the only one, according to the article). So even once I found out they were harmless, I uninstalled the source, i.e. AroundMe-World.

It's okay to say you're busy, even if you're lying.

I agree, disparate communication styles are a relationship issue, and when I had a shitty phone, texting annoyed me because it was a huge effort to text back; if a response were required, it would be better to just discuss over the phone. Some texts still annoy me; "how are you?" is not a text topic; "I'm running late, be there in 5," is.

Excellent discussion of writers in John McPhee's reminiscences about his earlier days writing for the New Yorker:
The writing impulse seeks its own level and isn’t always given a chance to find it. You can’t make up your mind in a Comp Lit class that you’re going to be a Russian novelist. Or even an American novelist. Or a poet. Young writers find out what kinds of writers they are by experiment. If they choose from the outset to practice exclusively a form of writing because it is praised in the classroom or otherwise carries appealing prestige, they are vastly increasing the risk inherent in taking up writing in the first place. It is so easy to misjudge yourself and get stuck in the wrong genre. You avoid that, early on, by writing in every genre. If you are telling yourself you’re a poet, write poems. Write a lot of poems. If fewer than one work out, throw them all away; you’re not a poet. Maybe you’re a novelist. You won’t know until you have written several novels.  doesn't discriminate.

What's offensive about this headline is the same that's offensive in Tracie McMillan's anti-woman rants: it's not the content, it's the presentation. Could we please get off the "cat lady" thing? Could we expunge that label from our vocabulary? It's the double standard: men have cats; families have cats; Toxoplasma gondii doesn't discriminate by marital status. Ironically, I was just complaining to a friend about one of my recent bad dates: I said it, it shouldn't be a double-standard--neither women, nor men should talk about their cats in detail on the first date. Her response was to further reinforce the stereotype, i.e. tell me to stay away from men with cats, period. Leaving the issue of cats, here's another example of an issue--in this case, an ad--that's offensive particularly because of the double standard it perpetuates (again, against single women). I challenge Piperlime to run an ad on coffee cup sleeves that says to men, "every time you wear sweatpants, a single woman believes that there really is a crisis of manhood."
 

Thursday morning roundup

Syria's tragedy personified.

Proof that activism matters: China is actually taking environmental impact into consideration.

Pakistanis are disillusioned with democracy.

On the Fourth, two symbolic naturalization ceremonies.

Dionne on originalism.

What's more incomprehensible: the Higgs boson or campaign finance loopholes?

Locals: more fodder for directing your ire toward Pepco (the audacity)! and Metro.

Mermaids aren't real,

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Wednesday morning roundup

Those who selectively read Tom Friedman know he's at his best (most knowledgeable and nuanced) on the Middle East.

Nearly half of Americans apparently live under a rock.

Che's Irish side.

Something to quantify and substantiate your hatred of Pepco, and something to feed it.

If you get a chance, do catch The History of Invulnerability before Sunday.

Now that Anderson Cooper has officially come out in terms of sexuality, he might focus on setting a good example to help others recover from the scourge of picky eating.


Slate yawns at the iPhone.

Hilary Price captures my relationship with dandelions.

Christine Frietchen feels great after her vegan marathon:
I’d always been so jealous of people who said they just cut soda from their diet and dropped 20 pounds. I wished for a similar quick fix in my own diet. (I didn’t drink soda, so that wasn’t an option.) But it dawned on me one day as I sprinkled Cheddar over my veggie tacos that hardly a meal passed that didn’t include some type of cheese. I would sprinkle Cheddar on a salad, melt mozzarella on pizza, spread cream cheese on a bagel. Turns out I’d been using cheese as a condiment. I gave myself a three-week trial: no cheese, no milk, no butter, no yogurt.

It didn’t even take three weeks for my nagging heartburn to disappear, and the needle on the scale began to creep lower. I was also having a running “honeymoon.” To my disbelief, I started running faster, down to a personal best of 7:40 a mile from 10-minute miles nine years ago.

It's funny--in an article I linked to yesterday, one guy talks about how dietary restrictions can infringe on one's social life, but it doesn't have to be that way. All it takes is a little awareness and flexibility. Here's Frietchen's take: "I screen restaurants before accepting invitations. But these are all minor issues — they’re nothing compared with how good I feel." I find that I don't generally have to screen restaurants--the people I go out with are happy to defer to the people with dietary restrictions when picking a place to eat. To be sure, there are plenty of restaurants in the DC area that have nothing for vegans, and in some cases, vegetarians, but they're the ones that lose out, especially because they lose out on entire groups of people.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Tuesday morning roundup

Europe is thinking about selling its soul.

Sarah Palin is still--and now officially--full of shit.

Some things are merely very inconvenient, and some are truly unacceptable; 911 outages fall into the latter category. In other emergency issues: given the region's record--historically, and not just because it's Day 5--it's time to consider undergrounding. And also, making solar power affordable.

People are scrambling to save their more valuable perishables.

Richard Cohen's very touching tribute to Nora Ephron.

I like ICS--even though I'm a low-key enough user to only notice the most obvious changes--but man does it sap battery power the way gingerbread never did.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Monday evening roundup

A lot of Russian women apparently marry Syrians.
The oceans are in pretty bad shape.
Okay, huge sigh of relief to learn that Tracie McMillan--who here explains why your hamburger hates America--is not the Tracy McMillan who hates women.
The Times hits the nail on the dietary restrictions head with this:
“The distinction is not that people have restricted diets,” she said. “It’s their attitude about whose responsibility it is to meet their dietary needs.” More interesting excerpts: 
Unlike the diet fads of yesteryear (Atkins, Zone, South Beach and countless others), many contemporary eating styles speak directly to values and virtues, aiming to affirm your ethos rather than nuking your love handles.
 ***
But Fabio Parasecoli, a native of Rome and the coordinator of food studies at the New School, worries that diverse diets can kill the pleasure of shared meals. “For me, food is very social, and I would never show up at someone’s place with Tupperware,” he said. “It’s difficult when dietary choices prevent people from fully participating in social life.”
Yeah, I get offended if people show up at my house with animal products. Point:

“Not everyone’s going to be able to eat everything.” But with careful planning (plus a lot of recipe collecting and cross-referencing of diets), they’ve been able to ensure that, at any given meal, everyone can eat something.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Sunday morning roundup and ramble

Maureen Dowd on how times have changed. Here's what Niall O’Dowd, the editor of New York’s Irish Voice and Irish Central Web site, told her: “This will end Irish and British what-abouting,” he told me. “What about my suffering? Who suffered the most in this conflict? We must just say one death was too many and all are responsible. There’s no moral high ground here.”
It's a sad thing to say with regard to one's state Attorney General, but it's a good day in Virginia, for the country, and for the environment when Cuccinelli loses.
There's a lot to be said for ordinary (as long as you make something of it).
On a related note... I certainly, often find myself too busy in the very self-imposed way the author rolls his eyes at, and as the pages of this blog will attest, I'm the first to point out that I'm not working three jobs while raising three kids while saving the world. I don't expect sympathy or respect for my business; usually, when I bring it up here, it's to provide context for why it's especially annoying that someone is wasting my time. Sure, my busy-ness is self-imposed, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. There are things to do in this world, and I'm often willing to be exhausted to do them. Sometimes I want a break, and I'll slow down (this is one of my lay-low-and-rest-up weekends). I guess my point is, sure, there are people who think they deserve a medal for being busy, and those people are annoying, but that's not to say that it's necessarily bad to be busy.
***
Traffic lights (and other lights) were out all over the place on the walk to and from dinner last night. It looks like about a third of the region--across two states and the District--is without power, and it may take up to a week for some to get it back. The Times' tally is 2 million without power. It is hot as Hades outside--I skipped my morning bike ride out of exhuastion, wariness of the heat (combined with unwillingness to get up early enough to avoid it), and the probability of much of the trail being blocked by fallen tree branches (which are abundant in the city as well; the first thing I did yesterday was clear branches out of my front and back yards). I am so, so lucky to have power; even people just around the corner from me don't have power.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Oh, Texas

This is not an Onion article.

Saturday roundup and ramble

Apparently, a Derecho hit DC last night. It was scary as hell, but I was lucky enough to lose power only momentarily. The lightning went on for ages. It was crazy.
Even before Adam Gopnik managed to piss me off again with another inane, rambling column--here's a fun game: come up with some obvious counterexamples to this statement--"Sports are about human character inasmuch, and only inasmuch, as they show that you can master anything with enough effort." Anyway, even before I read that, I was thinking about the man whose writing makes me cringe, because I was thinking about his appraisal of the late J.D. Salinger, which I commented on at the time:
In American writing, there are three perfect books, which seem to speak to every reader and condition: “Huckleberry Finn,” “The Great Gatsby,” and “The Catcher in the Rye.” Of the three, only “Catcher” defines an entire region of human experience: it is—in French and Dutch as much as in English—the handbook of the adolescent heart.
No, Mr. Gopnik: they speak to every (white) male reader, and define an entire region of the (white) male experience. Guy bonding, guy adolescence, guy coming of age. And there's a lot to be said for that, but don't try to pass it off as universal.
This came to mind as I was thinking about Nora Ephron, whose work spoke to me far more.
***
Great quote from another (non-Gopnik) part of "Talk of the Town". Disclaimer--I'm not taking a position on the first clause; I just love the second one (and believe that it applies universally): "Since doctors, on the whole, are more arrogant than other people, it’s important to do things that you suck at pretty frequently, just to be humbled.” --Med student Kate Benham
Why are American kids spoiled?
Last night I went out with a douchebag. The kind you read about on Date Lab--not all that himself, but takes it upon himself to talk condescendingly and disrespectfully of women ("I thought she would be taller/blonder/thinner/hotter"). The funny thing about this date was that it was a lot of fun; my last two dates were not douchebags, but those dates were not fun. This one ended with the guy talking asking me about which "Sex and the City" character I identified with, and upon my saying Miranda, his describing her as a frigid headcase and declaring that men universally like Charlotte (which I'd heard before). Yes, I know: men love Charlotte. She's so... proper, put together, feminine. Which is, as my mother has been happy to point out lately, not me. For one thing, I sure-as-hell leave the house without make-up, most of the time.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Nora Ephron's infinite wisdom

In honor of Slaughtergate, here are excerpts from Ms. Ephron's 1996 commencement speech at Wellesley, which she sums up with "Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." Here's the part about "having it all":
This is the season when a clutch of successful women—who have it all —give speeches to women like you and say, to be perfectly honest, you can't have it all. Maybe young women don't wonder whether they can have it all any longer, but in case any of you are wondering, of course you can have it all. What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you.
and this
Did I say it was hard? Yes, but let me say it again so that none of you can ever say the words, nobody said it was so hard. But it's also incredibly interesting. You are so lucky to have that life as an option.
Changing the subject just a bit,
Don't underestimate how much antagonism there is toward women and how many people wish we could turn the clock back. One of the things people always say to you if you get upset is, don't take it personally, but listen hard to what's going on and, please, I beg you, take it personally. Understand: Every attack on Hillary Clinton for not knowing her place is an attack on you. Underneath almost all those attacks are the words: Get back, get back to where you once belonged. When Elizabeth Dole pretends that she isn't serious about her career, that is an attack on you. The acquittal of O.J. Simpson is an attack on you. Any move to limit abortion rights is an attack on you—whether or not you believe in abortion. The fact that Clarence Thomas is sitting on the Supreme Court today is an attack on you.
to close with,
Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women.
Do you miss her yet?

Thursday morning roundup

In a Moscow suburb, a microcosm of the toll of the country's endemic corruption. Presidential candidate who-said-it quiz. Wait, spammers have the audacity to complain about being sued? The anti-spam guy is my hero.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Wednesday evening roundup

Practically every woman on the planet--particularly every woman who writes--is in mourning. Take Jennifer Weiner:
I am heartbroken that she's gone, that she won't be blogging her funny stories, or making more movies or publishing more essays. I only hope she had some inkling as to all of the women who grew up reading her and believing they could become writers because of the stories she told.
Even Jennifer Rubin sings her praises. I'll just stop linking now, but there's no shortage of links. We owe that woman the world.
The Fast and Furious scandal is not the scandal most media is portraying it to be. Stay away from high-protein, low-fat diets because they're bad for you.

Wednesday evening---just kidding, morning--roundup

I will really, truly miss Nora Ephron.
China's microblogger revolution.
The primary issue surrounding cooking oil theft is the impact on local business, but do take a minute to think about the fact that the refined product is used for livestock feed. Have you considered vegetarianism lately?
The Pentagon celebrates the end of DADT.
Oreos (which, by the way, are vegan) just became fabulous. Which is not to say that I recommend consuming them.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Things that make my head explode

A friend drew my attention to Science: it's a girl thing. It speaks for itself. People are entitled to their tastes and opinions, but they're not entitled to leaving negative reviews because of their own misguided expectations. I posted about this a few months ago in reference to restaurant reviews (remember? someone gave a restaurant a bad review because it hadn't opened yet). One of the ladies I roomed with in Prague owns a bar. She told us about how she warns people that the jalapeno bloody marys are no-$hit spicy, and yet there are people who insist they want them anyway only to change their minds and ask for their money back. With that example in mind, check out these Goldstar user reviews of the excellent "Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All for You." My "favorite" was, "I went for the comedy, not the social commentary" Um, do you understand the concept of theater?? If you want entertainment without social commentary, stay home and turn on your TV. None of the negative reviewers had anything constructive to say; they mostly complained that the play made them think (which isn't what they were going for) or made them uncomfortable (no comment).

Monday, June 25, 2012

Monday evening roundup

Yeah, why does the "having it all" dilemma apply only to women? Insects are the future of meat consumption. And y'all know how I feel about seaweed. Why is "can vegans be athletes?" even a question? At least that post debunks the "complimentary protein" myth. Like Carolyn, I'm guilty of the "I get it because I've been there" trap. I'm sure I say things that sound one-uppy, and I've certainly recoiled at other people's one-upmanship when they were probably just trying to identify. This really came into focus post-breakup; a month later, when I was essentially "over it," I was talking to a friend who not so long ago had gone through a divorce. We talked about how the last thing you want to hear in the early days, when things are still raw (which for me lasted about a week) is about other people's similar experiences (or about how you'll be fine--you already know that, and it's not the point). The only right thing to say to someone going through it is, "I understand that this is a very difficult time for you," or some variation thereof. And yet, our well-meaning tendency is to say, "let me tell you when I went through the same thing." And the irony is that there's a time for that, because after that first week, tales of analogous situations were very appropriate and interesting. It made me feel a lot better to know that other (intelligent) women had found themselves in the same situation. Mind you, those tales work when they're presented in a "wow, that's so similar to what I went through," not in a "I can top that" tone. It's about "interesting that this is this a pattern," not "my case was worse!" It's natural to want to say to someone, "I hear you--and to illustrate that I hear you, I'm going to tell you about something similar that I already know about." Like Carolyn said, the reception is in the ear of the beholder: sometimes it's helpful, welcome; sometimes it just grates. It depends on the person and the timing. Some people may think being unable to gain weight is a great problem to have, but I wouldn't agree. Reading this--and I'm certainly not underweight--reminded me of when someone asked whether my mom was now telling me I was "too skinny." Fear not, I don't think mom thinks there's any such thing. I do. I mean, to each her own--and her own--concept of what works best for her. I wouldn't want to be rail thin, but I'm much happier with my appearance and with the way my clothes fit now than when I was twenty pounds heavier just a couple of years ago.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Budapest and Prague: pro/epilogue

I went into work on Friday--having returned stateside on Thursday afternoon--because I had to, for an external meeting. A coworker told me, hoping (correctly) that I wouldn’t be offended, that I looked like $hit. It was only natural; the trip kicked my ass. It was as exhausting as it was awesome. The number of stressful glitches were disproportionate to the trip's duration of not quite two weeks, but so was the number of miracles and other pleasant surprises. I wouldn’t change a thing.
The very first glitches came when my anticipated travel companions backed out (mom for health reasons, dad because he didn’t want to leave her alone, F. because we broke up). With each drop-out came, but also logistical complications, as I’d planned (and booked) the trip with their company in mind. You’ve read about my travels with my parents, so the "relief" part requires no elaboration; the "complications" part arose from having planned to take the night train from Budapest, the three of us sharing a couchette, to arrive in Prague the morning of the wedding. When my parents bailed on the trip, I bailed on the night train idea; I didn’t want to pay for a three-person couchette for myself, and I didn’t feel safe sharing one with random people, so I opted instead for an early-morning train that would get me to Prague just after noon the day of the wedding. I was cutting it close, but I wanted my two full days in Budapest, and (transnational) European trains are generally on time. F. was to get into Prague around the same time, and we’d head to the apartment we’d booked to clean up and then immediately to the wedding. When he dropped from the picture, Nina put me in touch with three friends of hers who were looking for an apartment for a few days—they’d get in Thursday (the day before I did) and leave on Monday morning—and suggested that I head straight to her place. The wedding would be in her garden. 
Before the trip, the new logistics were sorted and I managed to not really stress about the trip. I was too busy beforehand to give the it much thought, and I took the weekend before I left on Monday essentially practicing for the following weekend, i.e. drinking and partying. I was a little worried about a few things here and there, but had released them to the universe, if you will. At one of the pre-trip parties, I said something to a friend about not having packed yet. In response, she brought up a few things that hadn’t crossed my mind:
Friend: You haven’t met the people you'll be sharing the apartment with?
A.: No.
Friend: That doesn’t concern you at all?
A.: [Shrug.] They’re good friends of Nina’s. Besides, it’s just for a few days. I’ve shared rooms in youth hostels with total strangers for longer.
Friend: I know it might make you a little sad that the trip won’t be as planned, but it’s for the better.
A.: Oh, I know. It hit a few times as I looked over the directions Nina sent. I couldn’t help but think, “oh, yeah—he and I had planned on making our way there together. Oh, yeah, I remember that part of Prague from the last time I was there, he would have loved that bridge/view/neighborhood.” But then I realized I have no concept of what he would and wouldn’t have loved. He probably wouldn’t have given a $hit about any of it. The person I’d planned that trip with isn’t the person that he turned out to be. So yeah, I do think about how this trip, this wedding, will be a very different experience than I thought it would be a couple of months ago.
Friend: Oh, it’ll be okay to go stag.
A.: Oh, that hadn’t crossed my mind. I don’t care about that at all. I just meant that, it's been a mental adjustment.
Friend: It’s good that you’re still going. A lot of people would have canceled.
A.: Really? I was always going to go, hell or high water; it’s Nina’s wedding. Besides, you can have me shot if I ever turn down travel over a guy. Any guy. Actually, don’t have me shot—make my pathetic ass suffer. Find a painful way to put me out of my patheticness, if you ever see me back out of a trip because of a guy.
Friend: I mean, some people wouldn’t travel on their own.
A.: It’s true. I understand, in that I prefer to travel with other people—I’ve traveled alone and I’ve traveled with people, and it’s more fun with people—but I’d still rather go than not go.
My friend had more of a point than I’d realized. I meant what I said—drag me over some hot coals if I turn down a travel opportunity because some guy bailed on me—but I was a little anxious about feeling lonely for those few days before Prague. That had little to do with the absence of F.—he’d never planned on going to Budapest—but I’m human, so the breakup did affect me and what helped get me through those rough first weeks was that my friends really rallied. Also, it’s summer and people were having parties. Leaving for this trip entailed leaving a friendship-rich environment for a few days of navel-gazing (before rejoining another friendship-rich environment). I’m not normally one to turn down a few days of alone time—you may recall my balking at RM’s persistent concerns that I’d get lonely without him—but at the pre-trip moment, I wasn’t feeling the alone time. I admitted to myself that I didn’t feel like being alone, that alone was okay, but that I wanted this whole trip to be full of companionship. I thought of “The Easy Way,” Dar Williams’ great song partly inspired by an old break-up. There was one line in particular that rung true recently: “So here's what I took, I kept the wine and laughter.” But with the looming aloneness, the three lines that followed came to resonate as well:
So here's what I took:
I kept the wine and laughter
Until every path just grew up and ever after
Through the peaks and twisty canyons
I made many great companions
So it was that Monday, as I lined up for the bus to Dulles, the loneliness—or anticipation of loneliness—hit me. I hadn’t had time to feel it earlier that day; I’d gone to work (because I had to, but was able to leave on the earlier side because a friend graciously offered to finish what I’d come in to work on (working over the weekend wasn’t an issue; the delay was on the side of the people who didn’t get us stuff soon enough. But I digress)). I went home, cleaned, caulked the bathtub (yes, I had to do it then—I wanted the ten days for it to dry), finished packing, showed my wonderful neighbor how to give Gracie her pills, took a deep breath, and headed toward the metro and then the bus. I boarded the bus and headed toward the back, and as I positioned my bags by the seat, I looked up to see an old grad school friend smiling at me from a nearby seat. And that’s when I knew—when I really felt—that companionship would find me when I needed it.

***
“So here's what I took: I kept the wine and laughter.”
Oh, wine. The pre-trip training (drinking on roof decks) came in handy. When, in the course of the trip, there was insufficient vegan food to keep me going, wine served to make up the caloric deficit. [Disclosure: I did also have seafood a few times, even though these days my preference is to avoid it entirely. Had I been on my own, I could have stayed vegan, but at many of the restaurants we went to as a group, it was seafood or nothing. But I digress.]
The flight to Europe was rough going. I did have an aisle seat, albeit next to two obnoxious poster children for Aryan Youth. Before you accuse me of racism, let me point out that I have German friends. Just kidding (not about the friends, but about that being an absolution). Anyway, those of you who have come across German tourists or flown Lufthansa will understand when I say that these people think it’s their birthright to invade other people’s territory. Have they ever shoved you out of the way in a line, or at a tourist attraction? Reclined their seat so far in your face that you can see the back of their head? The girl next to me--perhaps the blondest in the world--not only took over the entire armrest, but proceeded to elbow her way into my seat. At one point, she pretzeled herself into her seat, shoving her feet into the space between me and my video screen (and at another point, right in my face). When her father stopped by, he shoved his arm directly in front of my face to adjust something on her video screen. Had I thought it, I would have weaponized the rock-hard “croissant” that was handed out for breakfast. It was much more suitable as a club than as a food, but I’d not thought to use it as either.
None of this bothered me as much as the fact the flight arrived just late enough to have me miss my connection and so spend an extra four hours in the crappiest airport in Europe rather than in one of its more beautiful cities. The FRA airport--at least the part I was in--was naturally devoid of vegetarian, much less vegan, fare. I was crabby for various reasons, and starvation was definitely a factor. Thankfully, European airlines serve food—and free alcohol—even on short trips, so I enjoyed a small Mediterranean salad (complete with beans and olives!) and a glass of wine on the way over. Doesn’t take a lot to win me over: food and wine will do it. More than that--or rather, before that--I kept coming back to the words of one of the flight attendants, who saw me looking dejected upon learning that I'd missed the connection. She said, "where ever you're going from here, it gets better." And so it was.

Budapest

Budapest is far enough north that I enjoyed very long hours of summer daylight, and it was still light out in the evening when I got into Budapest, in spite of the delay. The rain had stopped and the only commuters in the metro system were stragglers. I came out at the East train station—I'd picked a hotel near it, since I’d take a very early train to Prague—and took a number to line up for a ticket. Being there, surrounded by backpackers, brought on a wave of nostalgia. It felt so natural, as if I’d been doing it all along, as if it hadn’t been over a decade since I regularly hung out at European train stations. A $38 ticket to Prague for Friday in-hand, I headed to the hotel to check in, and to a restaurant around the corner for a light dinner. The restaurant was pretty empty, so the meal—and generous glass of wine—came with a fascinating chat with the waiter. We talked about how Eastern Europe has changed since the transition, though not monolithically. He noted that Budapest is still far from the radar of many travelers. Americans tend to dream of London, Paris, and Rome, while Brits tend to gravitate toward dirt-cheap beer. Of which there happens to be plenty in Budapest, but Prague and the Balkans are more up their alley. I didn’t think to tell them that I could name a handful of coworkers who’d been there recently; one had loaned me his guidebook. When I headed back to work yesterday, I toted five books (three guide books, one phrase book, and a novel) and one map to return to three coworkers.
I hadn’t been to Budapest before, so I couldn’t speak to how it had or hadn’t changed. Prague has changed enormously since I was there in 1998, and I imagine that the Budapest of those years was even more different. It’s still has a very Eastern European feel to it. It reminded me quite a bit of St. Petersburg—stunning and somewhat decrepit at the same time. It’s hard to get a sense from the cosmopolitan capital the mood of the rest of the country, much less the atmosphere that brought about a super right-wing, nativist government. I can’t speak intelligently to the politics, so I won’t.
I probably can’t speak intelligently to the architecture, either, but I’ll try. Budapest is stunning, on both a large and small scale. By large scale, I mean that from any bridge connecting the two parts of the city, or from either bank of the river, or the Buda hills, the view—the skyline, for lack of a more precise term—is breathtaking. By small scale, I mean that when you turn a corner from any street—small streets, streets in unexotic parts of the city—you unexpectedly stumble upon a beautiful building or tower or balcony. The morning of my first full day in the city, I made my way to the Buda side for a guided tour that was included with the transit pass I’d bought. It was true, as my friend’s guidebook said, that this particular pass was a bad deal for transit—I’d bought it a few days before I read the book—but it was worth it, for me, for the tours. For those of you considering Budapest—and I highly recommend that you do—you can get by on single tickets if you can be bothered to buy single tickets every time (you can also get ten-ticket passes or other passes). Also, a pass will get you into the city from the airport—that trip and the handful of metro, bus, and tram rides I took over the three days probably came to about half the cost of the pass; adding in the discounts for the Synagogue and the Seycheni baths—the only two things I paid admission to—would probably get us to two-thirds. Of course, you can get by with the self-guided tours in the guidebook, but the first rule of making travel decisions is “know yourself,” and I knew I wouldn’t have the patience for that. You could also go on various free tours offered by random residents, but I was happy to have something more established to count on. So I made my way down one of the main boulevards, then through the Jewish quarter and Deak Ferenc Terrance, to the river, where the first breathtaking view opened up before me. As I walked across the bridge, the view shifted but remained grand and stunning. Once across, I wound around and up the hills to an even more breathtaking view of the Pest side. I took to finding the meeting place for the tour—a statue, by the cathedral—and it took all three maps I had on me to figure it out. Even once I found the cathedral, I was hard-pressed to find the group. There were several statues, and various tour groups congregating throughout the square around Castle Hill. “Deep breath,” I commanded myself. If you miss it, you miss it. You guide yourself. But I didn’t want to miss it. I wanted the history, and, I realized, the social aspect of the group tour. I continued to circle the square, eyeing the statues in search of this mysterious group. I didn’t know if there would be a sign, an umbrella, any sort of guidepost. Just as I was about to turn back, I noticed and approached a smallish group congregating around a young man. It was, indeed, the tour I was looking for. The tour made my morning. We walked around Buda, learning about Hungarian history and culture. The guide was interesting and well-informed, not just about historical matters but about the latest research about the origins of the Hungarian people and language. He presented various perspectives—for example, the versions still taught in Hungarian schools, as well as the versions supported by archeological and scientific studies conducted within the last year. I learned that, contrary to conventional linguistic wisdom, Hungarian is not at all related to Turkish or Finnish. Also, did you know that the pre-Catholic Magyar people believed in a monotheistic religion with striking similarities to Christianity, thousands of years before Christ?
The guide, L., talked about the transition from having to learn Russian in school to having to learn English. The Russian, being compulsory, went in one ear and out the other. It fell out of favor initially upon the transition, but came back in style as Hungarians found that it was good for business. There’s also some nostalgia—the waiter I’d spoken with the night before said the same—for the communist past. (At least some) people selectively remembered the positives, the financial security, for example.
L. and I got to talking about learning languages, and then about the common theme between Hungary’s pre-Christian faith and Zoroastrianism: the victory of lightness over dark. Jay would have called me the teacher’s pet, as he did in India, before we both turned against our tour guide. After the tour, I asked whether he’d be leading the Pest tour the next day, but alas, it would be another guide. We agreed it would have been interesting to chat more. I’d also chatted a bit with some of the other tourgoers, particularly a mother and daughter from Belgium. I recalled how much I loved that part of traveling: meeting, learning from people you meet on the street, on trains, in hostels or even hotels.
I left the tour to see if I could get into the Parliament building, which is supposed to be even grander on the inside. So grand that in actuality, one should line up at 7am to get tickets. Between the hassle and the expense, and the fact that I’ve seen my share of blinged-out spaces and preferred to spend my time outdoors, I let it go (same with the Opera building). I just walked around town, and then popped into a vegan restaurant (I $hit you not) for lunch. I spent the rest of the evening just walking around town, which was equally but differently beautiful with its night lighting.
I’d walked all day—morning to evening, with a brief respite at lunch—and my legs were urging me to get some rest. Back at the hotel, the loneliness hit from out of nowhere, almost the way hunger does. I remembered how my friend had appeared on the Dulles bus, just when I needed him to; how he introduced me to his (girl?)friend, whom he was accompanying there, and how wonderful it was to catch up with him and talk to her a bit; how I couldn’t have planned for them to be there had I thought of it. And so I comforted myself with the fact that companionship would come soon enough—just another day before I meet up with Nina, and her family, who are for all intents and purposes family to me, too.
I didn’t have to wait that long. I came to the Pest tour meeting point— right by Budapest’s first McDonald’s, which invoked very conflicting emotions, a symbol both of the beginning of the demise of communism in Eastern Europe, and of the worst of the food system. This time, I took a different set of small, beautiful streets and parks, equally full of little surprises at each turn, and soon after getting there was enthusiastically greeted by my Belgian co-tourists from the other day’s tour. Shortly thereafter, we were all greeted by L., who was informed after midnight that the designated tourguide had to cancel and asked whether he’d fill in. It was a larger group that day—the sky was clearer—and I was glad to be amid friendly faces, while simultaneously and cynically surprised that they were already that.
Where the Buda tour, focused around Castle Hill and its more distant history, the information shared during the Pest tour had more to do with the more recent past, though not exclusively. We started with the Basilica before walking to the Imre Nagy bridge and the Parliament. We took the tram along the river to near the shopping district and learned about the man who inspired the statue on the hill: a bishop sent by the Pope to convert the newly conquered people to Catholicism. One person, apparently, was not interested in what the bishop was selling, and so nailed him into a barrel and rolled it down the hill, into the river. The statue was an attempt at collective atonement, an admission that perhaps that course of action wasn’t necessary—that the bishop could have been turned away with words instead. After this tour, L. asked what I was up to. I said I’d go see the Great Synagogue and eventually work my way out to Sechyeni for a much-needed thermal bath. He asked if I’d be up for lunch before all that, to which I said I’d love to, but food’s complicated for me here, as I don’t eat meat. To which L. said, “nor do I; I don’t eat animal products at all.” Holy $hit: I befriended a local vegan, in Budapest. Hi-fives all around. He said he knew just the place to put together the ideal vegan picnic, and off we went, to a nearby organic food shop. I picked out a macrobiotic spinach pie, and L. got a different macro savory pastry, as well as some macro desserts to share. Over the next hour or two, we had the most interest conversation about a wide variety of topics: food, food politics, post-communist transition, resistance to change (on a personal and societal level). The last of those grew out of the other three, not just the last. We wondered why so many people persist with unhealthy food habits, even when they know they’re unhealthy. He was writing an article about change and resistance to change, and our conversation fed in some ideas. After the picnic, I explored the synagogue and garden, with its steel weeping willow memorial to Hungary’s Holocaust victims. Afterward, my legs insisted they’d had enough, and I went back to the hotel to rest for a few minutes just until I could move again. I was in the perfect state to hit the baths. They were amazing. I realized, enjoying the hot, healing water and the surrounding architecture, that I’ve been to too many scenic hot springs to deem these the most beautiful—there’s just no point comparing them—but these were the only ones in a cool building. I’d hot-springed in Iceland, Panama, Ecuador, Canada, West Virginia ;), and Washington State, usually surrounded by mountains and other natural scenery; this was my first ever hot spring amid statues and towers. After soaking for a bit, I headed out for a light dinner, this time to a vegetarian café that had a few vegan offerings. I had a combinations of salads inside and took a veggie pie to go, to a nearby promenade full of sidewalk cafes and benches. The weather was perfect, the night was beautiful. I loved Budapest, but I was ready for Prague.