Friday evening roundup

A clinic landlord fights harassment with loving attention.

We should keep Judith Warner's defense of the diet-imposing mom, and it's interesting that she excerpts different aspects of the article from the more damning assessments. Also keep in mind that there is another, smarter way to improve your child's health. And a better way to look out for her mental health.

Peeps!

There are some crafty people in this world, and they truly outdid themselves with this year's Peep Show. Do go through all sixty photos... there's some amazing stuff.

I'm glad humanity found a productive, non-food use for Peeps.

Response to comment and let's smack down some dating BS

Ernessa, thanks for the perspective, and also for the recent link love. I have to admit that I considered linking to your post about the t-shirt test (which I now can't find) a while ago, but figured I had a reputation to uphold (for respecting my 'single' roots, not for hygienic standards).

Hope the Book Festival is cool. I went one day last year and it was a good time. Hope you're finding good local wine.

***
This writer is spot-on. I'm 34, going on 35, and I always refused to consider myself a hard sell. I'm in danger of getting on my soapbox here, and one day I'm going to give this lecture in full--I already started it in the post that spurred the comment--but ladies, value yourselves and drown out the noise. All kinds of women of all ages, body types, and beauty types happily couple up all the time; the only kind of women who don't, are women who don't know who they are and try to be someone else.

Monday evening roundup

Some of this stuff would be fine if it didn't market itself as health food.

Helicopter parents ruin Easter for their kids.

Rick Perry has a kind-of awesome sense of humor. Not as surprisingly, so does Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.

The Onion on women GOP voters.

Conversations

When the bf and I first started dating, I assured him I'd keep him off the blog unless he pissed me off (like he did last weekend) or unless I was merely mentioning him in passing, as part of the context for other posts. This post will be an exception--he's the subject of these conversations, rather than a tangential detail, but it's not entirely unflattering to him. It's actually more about me.

***

Bf (indicating an ingredient on a menu): What is that?
A.: Oh, you know that. I have some in my fridge...
Bf: I can't identify half of what's in your fridge. To be honest, when I have to go in there [for example, for soy milk for coffee], I try hard not to look at what's inside.

***
We'd just left the Frida Kahlo photo exhibit. We talked about it a bit, but then it was quiet in the car for about thirty seconds. He put his hand on mine.

Bf: Are you tired?
A.: I'm okay, why.
Bf: It's just very quiet all of the sudden.

Yes, my friends: it takes about thirty seconds of silence on my part for my companion to start worrying about me. But here's what else I'll tell you: don't go changing; may as well date someone who loves how much you talk.

Sunday morning roundup

Please know that your beef comes with a hefty side of deforestation.

Europe's financial woes are being felt in the arts.

Frank Bruni brings us tales of humanity, compassion, and hypocrisy.

Friday evening roundup

I wonder if Texas legislators feel good about themselves for the ordeal they imposed on this grieving woman. I recommend reading her entire story here.

Jews don't actually puppeteer the government.

I didn't think I'd have anything good to post about Rick Santorum, but here it is. Incidentally, I was just in that area last week.

Who's calling us ugly??

I cuss out my cat all the time, but I try to keep it indoors.

Friday morning roundup

Wow, Mali?? F*.

I know it's politically incorrect to "blame" the parents for their kids' criminal activity, but you've got to wonder in the Zimmerman case. I can't believe this family is defending him. Don't get sanctimonious, parents; this isn't about stuff you can't control. I won't necessarily be able to keep my kids from screaming on a plane or throwing tantrums in supermarkets, but I can sure as hell let them know that should they choose to engage in seriously harmful shit, they're on their own.

Frank Bruni has a health-induced gustatory ephiphany:

You never really quite appreciate just what a cornucopia of food alternatives exists — just how many culinary directions you can set off in — until a few are cut off and you’re forced to re-route yourself. That’s a lesson that people with celiac disease and with diabetes have learned. It’s what vegetarians have long asserted. And it’s what gout is teaching me. In diet books, the word “substitution” comes across as some pathetic euphemism for “sacrifice” and “compromise,” a positive-spin noun born of negative circumstances. But substitution is indeed a plausible course, and not necessarily a punitive one. At breakfast, oatmeal thickened with a heaping tablespoon of peanut butter can provide the same wicked indulgence that pork sausage does.

Phone call

I sent my parents an e-mail yesterday saying that they might want to get on getting their ticket. And also that bf and I will be sharing an apartment the week of the wedding, with each other and not with them. I called today on my barely-functioning phone to follow up.

Mom: I don't know. I just don't feel that well. I'm on antibiotics again, I'm always tired.

This reminds me a little of how mom backed out of visiting for Thanksgiving a few years ago once she realized that tickets weren't cheap. And once I'd already turned down other plans and bought a bunch of food because I thought they were coming. Mom has felt poorly, on and off, for the better part of three years. I'm not happy about this, but based on my mother's refusal to listen to logic (don't fast, get some sleep, etc.) I have chosen not to stress about what I can't change.

Mom: I talked to [the bride's parents]. They were understanding, said it would probably be stressful--there'll be lots of young people around, there'll be lots of shuffling from one place to another.

Translation: Bride's mom, a very, very close friend of my mom's, is well aware of mom's drama queen tendencies and isn't sure mom can/will tamp them down for the wedding. I actually don't think she's giving mom enough credit... well, at least I think she's exaggerating mom's willingness to create drama at someone else's family event.

A.: I'm sorry to hear that. I think you might have a good trip. But do what you need to do.
Dad: We're still thinking of going.
A.: I understand.
Mom: What's up with you?
A.: Lots. I refinanced, got much of the trip figured out, and ordered a smartphone.
Mom: Ok. What else is up?
A.: Is that not enough?
Mom: No, that's fine.
A.: Okay, good.
Mom: Anything else?
A.: No. You?
Dad: Work is busy. In a good way.
A.: I'm glad to hear it.
Dad: We'll keep you posted about the trip.
A.: Okay, thanks.

Thursday evening roundup

There are lots of reasons to eat less meat.

Young people don't care much about cars.

Thursday morning roundup

In Mexico, art serves to humanize crime victims.

Gail Collins wonders whether the gun lobby is a victim of its own success.

Do you suffer from a glut of useless kitchen gadgets?

Baby sloths are so cute that they're adorable even when pooping:

Wednesday evening roundup

If you're still eating industrially-produced meat, you need to get your head checked.

If you fall off the pier because you're walking and texting, you might want to get your head checked.

If you'd trade brains for breast size, you haven't any brains to spare.

More women are apparently changing their names upon marriage.

Tuesday morning roundup

Watch out for norovirus.

I can't speak to the accuracy of this paragraph of Frank Bruni's with regard to Catholics, but it definitely rang true with regard to many American Jews:

These Catholics look to the church not for exacting rules, but for a locus for their spirituality, with rituals and an iconography that feel familiar and thus comfortable. In matters religious, as in “The Wizard of Oz,” there’s no place like home, and Catholicism is as much ethnicity as dogma: something in the blood, and something in the bones.

These tips for dating a vegetarian are common sense. I'm so happy not to have these problems.

Monday morning roundup

One businessman's long-fought triumph over Greek red tape.

Can I just say that a couple of friends have given me crap over the years for expressing a preference for dating men who read fiction? I just sensed that there was something emotionally off about men who don't. Well, here's my vindication.

Also: bilingualism really does make you smarter.

Sunday morning roundup

Gail Collins makes a great argument for keeping politicians out of our collective uterus.

A memo from our feline companions.

My parents tend to send me a lot of crap, but this video is awesome:

Why did I even feel guilty?

I was in the supermarket this morning, on the way back from my bike ride, when I saw a missed call and message from mom. I thought maybe she was ready to buy her tickets for this summer and had a question for me. She did, but not about tickets.

Mom: How do you crack those nutshells? I've been nearly breaking my teeth trying to get them open.
A.: What nutshells? What nuts?
Mom: You know, those nuts.
A.: You have a lot of varieties of nuts around the house.
Mom (to dad): V.! What are those nuts called? (To me) Pistachios.
A.: Mom! Why were you even trying to crack pistachio shells with your teeth? Use your fingers.
Mom: I can't! I bought these at [the Russian store]. They're small.
A.: Mom!
Mom: Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't be breaking my teeth. I'll try using my hands.
A.: Good.

***
I have almost 30k miles left after getting my ticket, so I offered them to the bf for his return flight. Did he get right on it? Was he at all excited about the prospect of saving $500 on the trip? I doubt, it because all he could muster was a four-word response to say he'd look into it. Do I want to stay with someone who becomes emotionally (and practically) unavailable for an entire month of the year?

Okay, this sounded more blogworthy in my head

My boyfriend and I--if our relationship survives March Madness--will travel to Europe this summer for a family friend's wedding. I'll go a few days early, to a nearby city, and train over to where the wedding is. He'll join me there. My parents are also going to this wedding, and they also want to travel to a nearby city or two. They're not sure which, but they're considering joining me, a few days before the wedding. This would actually be great: I'll have travel companions, and I'll have some time--about three days--on my own with my parents, and then the bf and I will have more leverage to do our own thing the following week when we're all together.

The fun part is getting there. I just booked my ticket on miles. I felt the obligatory Jewish guilt of doing so without consulting any of my travel companions, but we've been talking about getting our tickets for weeks--and I hadn't seen award seats for months--so when they showed up, I had to jump on it. The bf may be annoyed that I didn't coordinate with him, but I had to do what I had to do, and--yes, I know this isn't a healthy relationship approach--but I have some (March-Madness) annoyance to throw right back at him. This post isn't about coordinating with him--I bring up his role only to do justice to the complexity of the situation; it's about coordinating with my parents. Here's a timeline:

-December: Parents and I discuss going to this wedding, agree that we're all going. They're not sure where else they'll go (visit dad's sister in Germany? hit the Balkan beaches?), nor am I.
-January: I let bf know to start thinking about whether he'd be interested, and, if so, to apply for a passport.
-February: We should really buy tickets, but prices are very high. I rule out the Balkans, decide to save it for another trip; settle on three days in a nearby city.
-Late February: I tell my parents where I plan to go. Hound bf about the passport.
-Early March: I tell mom I'm going to buy my ticket soon. She says to find out about hers, too; I say I can only do that if she decides on her travel plans; she says she'll just do what I do. I say, "I don't think so; please figure out what you're doing. You're retired, dad will likely have retired; you haven't spent as much time in that part of Europe, so make the most of it." Separately, I tell dad that the bf will be joining me; he doesn't react. Over dinner with friends, I invite myself and bf to where they'll be moving in the fall. Bf better get on that passport.
-Last week: Dad decides not to retire (specifically, his company decides to find a way to keep him on); mom and dad definitively decide to join me in nearby city three days before the wedding, tell me keep an eye out for inexpensive tickets. I point out that I'm leaving from a different city. I tell mom that the bf will be joining me; she doesn't flip out. She does ask whether I've told the bride (yes, of course). I decide that bf and I will have to go to Costa Rica to visit the Sloth Sanctuary; perhaps because I don't declare my decision out loud, bf finally submits his passport application.
-Yesterday: Get back from my business trip; deal with paperwork for my refi; realize that I'm not getting into grad school; have another conversation with mom about how she needs to figure out what her travel plans are, because tickets are not going down, and she'll want more rather than fewer flight options (with efficient connections). She says sure ticket prices might go down. Then she lectures me about how it's okay that I didn't get into the grad program because good writers already know how to write--it just comes to them; for example, Pushkin cried when it was time to kill of Gherman. I remind her that she told me this every day over the holidays. To her credit, she meant it as a pep talk, and it kind of worked.
-Today: On a whim, I check to see whether there are award flights, and there are! So I buy them (see guilt trip above). I call parents before I complete the transaction. Mom says, "what? I thought we were going to that other city afterward?!" I said, "no, we've discussed this." My dad backs me up. Mom says, "okay, whatever," and proceeds to lecture me about writing and how Pushkin cried but had no choice but to kill of Gherman. I reminded her that we've discussed this and that we could discuss it again another time, but I wanted to complete my transaction. She concurred, I got my ticket, and I sent her, dad, the bf, and the bride my itinerary. Mom and dad will hopefully get their ticket soon. The bf may get his ticket when he emerges from his man-cave at the end of March.

This is one of my best friends getting married, and I'm going to be at her wedding. Out of the four of us, I'm the one who most wants/needs to be there. I was willing, but less than thrilled, to pay $1,500 to get there, so I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to pay ten times less. Why am I trying to convince you? You're probably on my side.

Friday morning roundup

Did you think Mr. Frothy Mix couldn't get any more clueless?

Are we setting absurd obstacles for foreign tourists?

Thursday evening roundup

If there's any example of government meddling that can make me understand the ire of the tea party, it's this. Only that was a confused teacher, rather than government policy (just like it was a confused TSA agent who wouldn't let a nursing mom bring lactation supplies without first filling the bottles). All I will say is that any person--teacher or otherwise--who tries to feed my kids chicken nuggets better be ready for a lawsuit.

Oh, Date Lab. Someone give this guy a medal for not walking away upon discovering that his date was Not Blond.

Colbert on the politics of talking about climate change.

Wednesday morning roundup

Latin American prisons (perhaps this doesn't apply to all countries, but the Times didn't make that exception) are a disaster.

Kathleen Parker reminds the presidential candidates that Southerners don't appreciate condescension. We've discussed how no group likes to be referred to by an associated food, but I will take this opportunity to point out that I'm in the south now, and I had the most amazing hush puppies yesterday.