Friday roundup

There's a cost to holding on, says Carl Richards:

There is an actual cost to holding onto things we should let go of. It can come in the form of anger, frustration, resentment or something even worse. The question is, can you really afford to keep paying the bill?

The faster we learn to drop our emotional dead weight, the more room we create for something better. I’m talking about everything from stewing about the guy who cut you off in traffic this morning to still refusing to forgive an old friend for an event 20 years ago. 

And also to abusing our power, says Ask Polly:

For example, I got into it with a troll the other day. He wasn’t remotely worth my time, but I like a good fight. Afterward, though, I felt guilty for being prideful and for smashing his face into the ground. Who even knows what that guy is going through? Who knows how lonely or angry he is, thanks to being treated without empathy his whole life, thanks to his habit of never, ever, treating himself with empathy? I abused my power. I’m a happy person who’s procrastinating. But he’s a guy who’s so unhappy that he’s looking for trouble from strangers online. I could’ve tried to reach that guy, but I didn’t help him at all.

I constantly have to remind myself to be kinder to people who are clearly insecure. The manifestations of their insecurities are, in the immediate sense, asking to be smacked down. Why should I validate their one-up-manship, for example? Because why the f* not? They clearly need it.

Rebecca Traister, brilliant as always, on weinergate part one million.

Dear lord, are we still, in 2016, fighting over shaving and make-up? FFS, you don't have to follow trends. I never have. I don't not wear make-up because it's trendy now; I won't wear make-up if it becomes trendy again. I don't wear make-up because I don't give a fuck (and yes, I have pretty good skin). I couldn't honestly tell you whether I'd be inspired, much less compelled, to wear make-up if I had lesser skin. So I don't understand how trends can "exclude," because trends are optional. Beauty standards are always exclusionary. Which is why feminism isn't about about pushing new trends or standards; it's about empowering women to do whatever the fuck they want, regardless of trends or standards.

How safe are GMOs really? Not all scientists are convinced. I personally maintain that the publicly perceived risks are overblown, but (1) agree that longterm effects have not been exhaustively tested and  (2) benefits are even more overblown, in that low-tech farming methods yield better returns to struggling farmers.