Monday evening roundup

Yeah, why does the "having it all" dilemma apply only to women? Insects are the future of meat consumption. And y'all know how I feel about seaweed. Why is "can vegans be athletes?" even a question? At least that post debunks the "complimentary protein" myth. Like Carolyn, I'm guilty of the "I get it because I've been there" trap. I'm sure I say things that sound one-uppy, and I've certainly recoiled at other people's one-upmanship when they were probably just trying to identify. This really came into focus post-breakup; a month later, when I was essentially "over it," I was talking to a friend who not so long ago had gone through a divorce. We talked about how the last thing you want to hear in the early days, when things are still raw (which for me lasted about a week) is about other people's similar experiences (or about how you'll be fine--you already know that, and it's not the point). The only right thing to say to someone going through it is, "I understand that this is a very difficult time for you," or some variation thereof. And yet, our well-meaning tendency is to say, "let me tell you when I went through the same thing." And the irony is that there's a time for that, because after that first week, tales of analogous situations were very appropriate and interesting. It made me feel a lot better to know that other (intelligent) women had found themselves in the same situation. Mind you, those tales work when they're presented in a "wow, that's so similar to what I went through," not in a "I can top that" tone. It's about "interesting that this is this a pattern," not "my case was worse!" It's natural to want to say to someone, "I hear you--and to illustrate that I hear you, I'm going to tell you about something similar that I already know about." Like Carolyn said, the reception is in the ear of the beholder: sometimes it's helpful, welcome; sometimes it just grates. It depends on the person and the timing. Some people may think being unable to gain weight is a great problem to have, but I wouldn't agree. Reading this--and I'm certainly not underweight--reminded me of when someone asked whether my mom was now telling me I was "too skinny." Fear not, I don't think mom thinks there's any such thing. I do. I mean, to each her own--and her own--concept of what works best for her. I wouldn't want to be rail thin, but I'm much happier with my appearance and with the way my clothes fit now than when I was twenty pounds heavier just a couple of years ago.